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UNHEALTHY ATTACHMENTS part 3

6/24/2018

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SIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE FRUSTRATION AND FEELINGS OF FAILURE THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW


Re: Co-dependency - A healthy need for other people is fine, but to allow your self-worth to be determined in reaction to other people is giving power away and setting yourself up to be a victim. We all have worth as a unique creation, and God has deposited in ALL OF US a special talent that is to be acknowledged, nurtured, and conditioned. It is like a plot of fertile ground. God has planted the seeds already, but we have to first acknowledge those planted seeds, tend to the surrounding soil with care on a regular basis, reap the harvest for ourselves and others, and start the process all over again. Abuse on ANY LEVEL is unacceptable and should not be tolerated, even against yourself!
 
As parents demonstrate a healthy, balanced emotional foundation, they present this model to their children. Those children will see that it IS possible to act from a rational perspective instead of an emotional one. Healthy, conscious parents can easily detect unhealthy attachments from their children because they are connected to their spirit and can tell when imbalances start to appear. Having a guage to measure emotional health is vital to any parent. Understanding mental health challenges and emotional disturbances brings about awareness which helps the parent make the proper choices for the well-being of the child. If imbalances are occurring, the conscious parent will not hesitate in seeking proper assistance, be it medical, emotional or mental concerns. When you are aware, you can be more compassionate and empathic.  Some parents are more concerned about what others are thinking about their children instead of first considering the health and well-being of their children. If their child has some sort of imbalance, be it emotional, mental or physical, instead of getting assistance immediately because ultimate health of their child is first and foremost, they might say, “What will people think about my child if they knew they had this or that problem? What small image would that put on my family? What will they think about me? How do I face them once they find out?” Many parents would rather not attend to their child’s needs because of them “losing face” in the community. Many children go through childhood and adolescence carrying treatable imbalances and experiencing a worsened condition due to their parents refusing to acknowledge their condition and getting treatment necessary to alleviate their challenges.

If your child has a special need, illness, mental condition or emotional concern that needs special attention from Professionals in the Field, why wouldn’t you connect your child with the needed services? Two areas come into mind here, and they are Co-Dependency and Community Image. With co-dependency, you need that illness to help you feel needed and loved, and with Community Image, you are focused on how your family’s image is upheld in the community. In this later scenario, you love to take family pictures and boast about accomplishments, be them real or not. You dress your children in fine clothes many times and sit in church so everyone can see your family.
 
Images are very important to this kind of parent, and when the child does something that goes against the image in the parents’ mind, anger appears and the child gets the wrath on one level or another. They might say angrily, “We are the Worthingtons, and we do not act in that kind of low-life, uncivilized manner. What would the Jones’ think if they knew you acted in such a rude way?” So, what happens when their child has ADD or some other condition that required attention from a Psychiatrist, Mental Health Professional or Special Needs Program? Mrs. Worthington wouldn’t have it. HER child doesn’t have those problems. HER child is perfect. “After-all, my child is a Worthington, and Worthingtons don’t have those issues like those ‘other people’ do.” So, she DOES NOT get the proper care for her child, as she hides the imbalance so no one notices. 
 
The wonderful, healthy, conscious, child-centered parent that you are would NEVER act the way Mrs. Worthington was behaving. Since you are learning to be the best connecting parent you can become, you will know when your child needs special attention, and you will make sure your child gets whatever is needed for their health and well-being. When you are truly connected, your spirit will let you know, even when your child is not around, when something isn’t quite right. You will investigate and do whatever is necessary with NO REGARD for the image it might present in someone’s perspective or judgment of you.
 

 
Isn’t it time to go from feeling frustrated, lost, overwhelmed and the feeling of failure to feeling confident, calm, relieved and successful?  
Together we can transform your children from being angry, bullying, moody or too quiet to happy, compassionate, loving children. YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassionate parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting
”


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HEALTHY & UNHEALTHY ATTACHMENTS part 2.

5/25/2018

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SIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE FRUSTRATION AND FEELINGS OF FAILURE THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW


​There are unwritten rules in the family that lend itself to co-dependency and dysfunction. Here are some of them:
- It’s not okay to talk about problems
- Feelings should not be expressed openly; keep feelings to yourself
- Be strong, (Men don’t cry)
- Be good, right and perfect
- Make us proud beyond realistic expectations
- Do as I say, not as I do
- It’s not okay to play or be playful
- Don’t rock the boat
- Children are to be seen and not heard
- (Gender expectations) Girls are to be cute and quiet and boys are to be strong, controlling and not       to express emotions.
 
Any of this sound familiar to you?

As a result of accepting these “rules,” children develop harmful behavior and characteristics. They also have diminished problem-solving skills and immature reactions to situations in adult life. As they mature into adolescence and adulthood, their view of the world and relationships are all influenced by their subconscious and sometimes conscious acceptance of co-dependency.   
 
When the boys witness their dad abusing and berating their mother on a regular basis, they grow up thinking, that is what men are supposed to do with their girlfriends and wives. When girls grow up with co-dependent mothers, who can’t stand up for themselves, and allows the husband to play the domineering role, disrespecting her authority in the house and her as a person, she attracts men into her life who will fill the role of a domineering brute, because that is what she knows. She has been conditioned to accept this behavior as normal. When fear is the dominant theme in the household, everyone in that household has fear as a dominant emotion and acts from that emotion in one form or another. 
 
If children don’t live with healthy family models, they will never internalize healthy family ideals (unless they take time to find healthy models elsewhere and attach themselves to this new source of happiness, which rarely happens). You manifest what you have been exposed to in your immediate environment. Whatever is experienced in the household is considered normal on one level or another, OR you take the other end of the spectrum and adopt the “counter-dependent personality” and shut out everyone.
 
You don’t always accept misbehavior consciously, but on the subconscious level there is an area of acceptance. You also tend to consciously or subconsciously correct the wrongs you experienced. But in going this route, you are concentrating so much on what you DON’T want, that you forget to focus on what you DO want for yourself. What do you really want? And, as the Law of Attraction dictates, again you draw onto yourself that which you habitually allow to dominate your consciousness or become your dominant vibration.  
 
Since your children “be what they see” not “be what you say,” it is critical to model the best relationship with EVERYONE in the household. Healthy, balanced relationships are wonderful, attainable and to be desired. Relationships in which mutual respect, compassion, empathy, and support for healthy, independent mind-sets is a great ideal to have, but unfortunately this is not one that has been supported by our current dysfunctional culture. Just think how wonderful children feel who are in these types of healthy households.  

 
 
 
Isn’t it time to go from feeling frustrated, lost, overwhelmed and the feeling of failure to feeling confident, calm, relieved and successful?  
Together we can transform your children from being angry, bullying, moody or too quiet to happy, compassionate, loving children. YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassionate parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”


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HEALTHY ATTACHMENTS part 1

3/27/2018

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SIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE FRUSTRATION AND FEELINGS OF FAILURE THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW

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This is a new topic detailing how your attachments affect your life and how your attachments affect the life of your children and what they accept as being the “right way to be” as they get older, bringing this disposition into their relationships. The engaging of the sperm and the egg is an “attaching process.” The semen is very sticky. You were born through the process of Attaching. It is through Attaching that you were formed into living, breathing human beings. That Attaching Process continued as you were attached to your mothers through the umbilical cord. After that cord was severed, your attachment to your mothers continued as she was, in your minds, God.   

It is a natural process to look at your origins for your strength, guidance, directions, and what your accepted standards are going to be. The healthy mother, knowing this, will give the best that she has, keeping the attributes of God in mind. Automatically she will be the source of compassion, love, empathy, provision, and protection (God’s Attributes). Her intention is to pass on God’s qualities and characteristics to the infant. She does this by first demonstrating the characteristics in her own life, and second, informing the child where these characteristics originate. This is an example of healthy attachments and how the great majority of human beings started their life on this earth. If you have in your mind to only attach your ‘true self’ to God, you can then have a good standard of your earthly associations.

Let’s look at the relationship of mother and child. After the child is separated physically from the mother, there still exists a very strong attachment. As the child develops, the healthy mother guides and instructs the child to start operating on their own. The mother is giving the child responsibilities such as communicating clearly and later cleaning after themselves. The child is learning step by step how to be independent of the mother, to start thinking for themselves, and later (much later) accepting to be the co-creator of their lives. The healthy mother doesn’t stop this process. On the contrary, she wants to promote this process of independence. The mother/father is only temporarily there to:
- Guide
- Model correct behavior
- Establish high standards of excellence
- Empower the child
- Encourage spiritual development
- Promote independence (on top of the basic needs).

During this process, the mother/father is reflecting God’s characteristics and instilling them into the child. This is a healthy attachment of the mother to the child as she is the first teacher. 
Here is a poem by Kahlil Gibran from his book The Prophet for those mothers (and sometimes Fathers) who insist that their child belongs solely to them and attaches themselves in unhealthy co-dependent ways that stifle the child’s ability to stand up on their own:

ON CHILDREN
 
Your children are not your children,
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself,
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love, but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts,
You may house their bodies, but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams,
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth,
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might, that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves the bow that is stable.”
 
Co-dependency is another form of unhealthy attachments. The original concept of co-dependency was developed to acknowledge the responses and behaviors people develop from living with an alcoholic or substance abuser. Co-dependents are dependent on someone else’s problems, hence the name “co”-dependent, as in “co”operating, or “co”nnected. Co-dependents have that tendency to get involved in relationships with people who are unreliable, emotionally unavailable and needy. I have to talk about co-dependency between parent and child.

When there are emotional voids the affected person tries to fill those voids consciously or they happen unconsciously. For example, you have a mother who has rather cool relationship with her husband. He works 2 jobs, comes home tired every night and is not available emotionally for his wife. They both have 2 boys and 1 girl. The one boy has a special needs condition and needs more attention as his nervous behavior demands more attention. The mother puts her emotional attention into this child, while neglecting the needs of the other two children. The nervous child loves the attention and acts out intentionally to get more attention. Now a co-dependency bond has begun. This well-intentioned mother, to fill her own emotional need for attention not given to her by her husband, is now getting some of her emotional needs met by this special connection with her son. She is now dependent on his special need condition in order to feel needed. She now is over-protective of him and not too eager to really help his condition. If he didn’t have his special need anymore, she wouldn’t get attention for love that she craves, so she misses some of his doctor appointments. When teachers say that her son needs counseling sessions, she says, “My son is fine and nothing is wrong with him.”  
Now what about the state of her other two children? What are they thinking? The girl is thinking that it is alright to play favorites even though she feels hurt behind her mother’s behaviors. This gets buried in her subconscious and WILL affect her relationships later in life. The other son’s neglect turns into a kind of depression as he feels his mother doesn’t care about his feelings and is not interested in his world, his dreams, aspirations and perspectives. A “nobody cares” idea starts to be ingrained into his subconscious. These are real possibilities when there is co-dependency between parent and child.  
Remember, whatever the parents exhibit becomes acceptable in the child’s mind, even though they don’t like it. It may be:
 
- Drug use
– Abuse (emotionally and physically)
- Profanity
- Disrespect of self and others
- General Disobedience  
- Smoking
- Drinking
- Lacking of family values
- Non-supportive behaviors, and of course
- Co-dependency.
 
On one level, the child will not like certain negative behaviors such as fighting and other forms of abuse, but on the subconscious level, the mind is recording what is acceptable and is stored for future use. 
 
 “Co-dependence is an emotional defense system that is set up to protect the wounded inner child within us from the shame of being exposed as unlovable and unworthy; as stupid and weak; as a loser and failure; as whatever it was that we got the message was the worst thing to be. We were taught to evaluate whether we had worth in comparison to others.” – Robert Burney. The mother, in this case, had an idealist image of how her marriage was going to be for her; a loving husband working well enough to make her a stay-at-home wife and mother; having the best relationship, raising the children together and having the most loving family for the world to see. Well, it unfortunately didn’t turn out that way for the young mother.  
 
This mother now feels vulnerable to exposure as unlovable and unworthy. Her idealistic world is starting to crumble. She creates a defense against this exposure by being harshly judgmental of the other children because that is easier than looking at her own internal deficits. Being right was very important for her and the way that she found worth. You can imagine how that made the other children feel. The mother sees the “needy child” as being “her way out” emotionally. She can feel lovable, worthy and needed liked she imagined even though it is through the bonding of her and her son instead of her and her husband. This is co-dependency. 
 
 
Isn’t it time to go from feeling frustrated, lost, overwhelmed and the feeling of failure as a Parent, to feeling confident, calm, relieved and successful?  

Together we can transform your children from being angry, bullying, moody or too quiet, to happy, compassionate, loving children. YES, and feel confident that you are using new Compassionate Parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.
​
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”



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Faith for Parents part 2

1/22/2018

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SIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE FRUSTRATION AND FEELINGS OF FAILURE THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW
 
 
You have acres of diamonds already divinely placed inside you. You just have to be able to recognize your riches in their undeveloped state. Just as it takes pressure to produce the gem you see in the jewelry stores, it takes pressure from you to produce your treasures. This is where faith flowers. You know without doubt that you are going to receive great things and that you are on the path of progress and possibilities. You already have accepted the fact that you will have to apply the pressure of work, consistency and healthy thinking habits to manifest your riches. You see the end results first, give thanks for it, before you actually receive it, claim victory now and celebrate your success. This is the picture of faith.

Strengthening your faith, as a parent, gives you so much self-assurance and motivation to be the best parent possible. You now have a demonstration of faith in your life that your children will bear witness to and thus become part of their belief system. Most parents have experienced faith in action if they have lived long enough. For some it might be going through a recovery process from an addiction or bad marriage. For some it might be leaving or getting a job. For some it might be finding that “soul mate” and allowing themselves to be vulnerable, although they have been hurt often before. Most parents have experienced faith in action if they have lived long enough. For some it might be finally speaking up for themselves. For some it might be following a natural health program that they have been fighting internally for years because they were afraid or unsure of the results. For some it might be receiving benefits of a new religious path. For some it might be experiencing surgery where the doctor painted a negative picture, but in the end the results were in their favor. For some it might be committing themselves to a higher college education. For some it might be joining the Army with the positive benefits.

It is important to make ACTION a dominant factor in this faith process. You cannot be satisfied with having all the faith you can imagine and afterwards do absolutely nothing to reinforce your newfound belief. You cannot even hold on to your great faith image and possibility if you do nothing to make it a reality. Faith gives you the motivation to create the change you are seeking. Faith gives you the certainty that your reward, from your honest efforts, will be there waiting for you. Faith gives you the insight and the vision of the end result, which is predicated on you doing the work necessary for its achievement.
 
Make certain that your action is INSPIRED ACTION. When you are spinning your wheels, trying to get your car out of the snow, you are in an “action mode.” But this kind of action is not gaining you any traction. The idea of simply “working hard” to make something happen is not necessarily the best way of realizing your goals. Faith says that your desires are already yours, so you don’t have to fight the currents of your life experiences to reach your goals. Since your desires are already in place for you, all that is necessary is for you to relax and go forward, only with inspired action. This, of course, takes faith that must resonate within. “Working smart” defeats “working hard” every time.

Sometimes your reward is received without physical labor on your part, but most of the time the work is done intentionally. God does what God does, so you can’t regulate God’s rewards to you based solely on what you are doing directly in those areas of interest. For example, you have absolute faith that you are going be the best connecting parent despite your family history of disconnection and dysfunctional relationships with your parents. You know this because of your transformation, reprogramming and strong faith that God has you on His favored list and will reward you for your honest intentions and character. Your faith in God along with your intention to always do what is right will direct you toward being that close, compassionate, empathic parent. Your work and intentions are already registered with God, so all you need to do is be consistent in your faith and deeds. God will do the rest. He will cover the “how” and “when.” Your part is the “what” and “why.” So, you see, you can’t predict when your rewards will reach you just because you are doing the work you think is needed. It all comes back to having faith first and foremost, which gives you the sense of knowing your reward has your name on it.  

In order to be the best, connecting, empathic parent, you have to possess a strong faith in your Higher-Self, all the wonderful possibilities, and then pass that vision onto your little one. I say a strong faith in your “Higher-Self” for a reason. You have heard many people use the overused phrase, “Believing in yourself.” I have always had a problem with that statement. A prisoner doing time for bank robbery believes in himself and strengthens his belief so he can, in his mind, rob banks better than before when he gets out. He believes in the “self” that is a bank robber. A pimp tells his “working girls” to believe in themselves so that they will do a good job and get more “johns” than the next girl. A professional “hit man” has a strong belief in himself to carry out his contracts successfully and avoid getting caught. An adulterous husband believes in himself as he juggles a double lifestyle between his wife and his girlfriends. If you want to be successful at anything, you need to “believe in yourself.” This is how you gain the mental fortitude to carry out your cause. So, you see you must make a sharp distinction between “believing in your SELF” and “believing in your HIGHER SELF.  

You have an inner Higher Self that is inherently good. That Higher-Self wants that which is right and that particular Self working through your conscience produces good and bad feelings when you do certain things. I don’t think anybody is bad at the core. Even when you never see the innocent core, you just have to have faith that it is there buried deep. Belief in your Higher-Self is that innocent core self. The self that produces bad feelings when we do something that we shouldn’t be doing or thinking, and the same self that produces good feelings when we do something and think about something that we will be proud of later. That Higher-Self only produces that which is life giving, which is health promoting, and that which is positively benefiting others. Some people call it the God-self within.

Being an Parent is a tremendous responsibility to the children, and to God. You can sometimes forget the biggest and the foremost entity parents are accountable to and that is the Creator of us all. God has entrusted parents to deliver His Compassion, Trust, Love, Empathy, and concern to the children. The conscious parents know that every child is carrying God’s special mission to the world. And it is the parent’s responsibility to help each child develop their own strengths and motivation so they can dig within themselves and find their purpose.

Parents with faith make the most difference because they know and believe in invisible reality. They believe in the greatness of each child. They are humbled in their parenting position in being the one to: - Model in the best manner - Demonstrate to their children that it is possible to accomplish their goals and be whatever their dreams call them to be - Be there for them when they need a comforting shoulder to lean or cry on - Be there offering guidance and direction and another choice where they thought there was none - Show a way out for them, when their world offered despair and frustration - Be the light, where all they knew was darkness.
 
Parents with faith hold fast to the image they see within. It is this image that they work very hard convincing their children to accept and believe in. It is this image that parents want their children to claim as their own. When they claim this image, miracles happen. All this and more happen when faith is accepted and internalized.

Parents with faith bring more positive energy to the children’s activities and discussions. This positive energy is contagious and it inspires the young ones to dream bigger and bigger dreams. In the child’s mind they are saying, “Well, if my Mommy/Daddy can believe in me like this, there must be something special they see. Let me reflect on what’s inside and see what else is locked up in there. Let me get more in touch with my feelings, and see what dreams come from my reflections. What else can I accomplish? What new goals can I set for myself knowing that they will support me and back me up? How can I get what I see my parents having? Having faith is kinda fun. I can now imagine anything and feel good about it.”


​

 
Isn’t it time to go from feeling frustrated, lost, overwhelmed and the feeling of failure to feeling confident, calm, relieved and successful?  YES!
Together we can transform your children from being angry, bullying, moody or too quiet to happy, compassionate, loving children. YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassionate parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.

Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”
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FAITH for Parents part 1

1/10/2018

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SIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE DISCONNECTION THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW
 
 
If you have really nurtured and supported your children in the area of Visualization and they feel they can share their dreams and imaginations with you, it will be easy as they get a little older, to talk about Faith. The faith described here is not a religious idea, even though in your family it can be. The faith described here is that belief in the unseen; the unseen reality of their goals, accomplishments and future possibilities. This is THEIR invisible reality. This reality is their emotional and spiritual essence needed to manifest it into existence.

Faith is the evidence of things unseen. It is a way of knowing. It is knowing. One without faith cannot see invisible reality. You must tell your children that within invisible reality they will find a plan beyond their plan; a way beyond their way; a path beyond their path; answers beyond their answers. They will see this when they can cultivate the consciousness of faith. Remember that the pre-requisite for this understanding is Visualization, High Self-Esteem, High Self-Image and Optimism. Tell your children that faith gives them the ability to believe in the impossible. When I use the word impossible I am talking about the invisible reality mentioned previously. To those without faith, believing in invisible reality is believing in the impossible because they cannot see what you see, therefore it is impossible. Rationally it might be impossible and physically impossible. But it is entirely possible and probable to you because of faith.
​ 
In our history we find many people who believed in realities without rational evidence to support their beliefs. They were called crazy or possessed. Some just said, “Just leave those crazy folks alone. They don’t know what they are talking about. They see things all the time. Stay away from them.” For people without faith it is easy to understand these comments. Those with faith have that assurance that tells them, “Everything is going to be all right.” It might look gloomy today, but your promised tomorrow is bright and sunny. When your children have the Visualization, High Self-Esteem, High Self-Image and Optimism areas in tip-top shape, this idea will take them further to being confident and self-assured.

You can tell your children that when they have faith, they are in a state of awareness. This awareness acknowledges God being present inside and outside of them. This state of awareness also tells them that they are on the path to receive rewards. This state of awareness also tells them that they are to align their life according to God’s Characteristics to receive more from Him. Characteristics such as: -Love for all creation - Compassion - Empathy - Honoring self and the divine spirit in others - Limitless abilities - Being Powerful - Being patient - Source of Peace - Appreciative - Generous - Truthful - Strong and dependable. 

Faith, F.A.I.T.H., has been described as Feel As If the Thing Has happened already. Faith is having such a firm picture of your desired reality in mind, you feel as if your vision has already happened, so there is no room for doubt. “God has lifted the pen and ink has dried.” You must really know that God has not forsaken you and that you deserve to have the vision you are internalizing. First, you have to remember that you must deserve before you desire. You must feel worthy enough inside and outside, for that’s what deserving means. If you have some issues with your self-worth not being what it should be, then you must first work on raising that up to your new desired standard.
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This is a great discussion you can have with your children when they are ready to receive this kind of message. This can only happen when your bond is in order; their understanding and acceptance of Visualization, High Self-Esteem, High Self-Image and Optimism. Usually after the age of 11 is when they can connect with you on this topic. You can tell them that they can use reason to explore possibilities in their life. It is through this reasoning process that they begin to discover what faith can produce.

This message is for YOU, the wonderful parent that you are, as it can be life transformational and it will give you more of a foundation in which you can work with and share with your children: As you go further and further on this path of faith, you start letting go of old thinking, old traditions that don’t work anymore; old patterns of behavior, AND old associates. Pay close attention to this. You can’t get the good that you seek when you are still determined to hold on to old programing.

On the “Reasoning Path” are questions you now ask yourself: - Why am I still holding on to these beliefs about myself? - Why am I holding on to these biases about people? - Why am I thinking the way that I do? - Why am I holding on to hate, resentment and anger? - Why am I fearful to look into my eyes in the mirror? - Why do I dread another day? - Why do I involve myself in religious traditions that no longer serve my highest good? - Why do I submit my whole self to my job as if it is God? - Why do I ignore the cries from my inner child? - Why do I see the risks and failures more than the positive possibilities? - Why am I leery to begin any new relationships? - Why can’t I trust and love others? - Why do I surround myself with people who are not grounded in faith and not living a conscious life?
 
If you can share this abstract message of Faith with your children, by all means, run with it. If they are not ready for this one yet, digest it for yourself. The healthier you are as a parent, the more you will be in a position of strength for them. You have faith within you and all you have to do to benefit from this faith is to first realize that this faith is given to you by God, and then ask for help in your excavation process as you dig deep within. Have faith in what you have already been given, instead of always thinking that your blessing is outside of yourself on someone else’s property.

 
Isn’t it time to go from angry, bullying, depressed and/or underachieving  children to happy, compassionate, achieving, loving children? YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassion parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised. Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”
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GRATITUDE for Parents part 3

1/1/2018

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SIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE DISCONNECTION THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW
 

As children learn by observing your behavior, it is important for them see you on the “Wanting Good Channel.” In order for this to happen you must have an attitude of appreciation always. You have to feel good inside and want the same for others. How about you reflecting on the endless things in your environment and in your children, that you are grateful for? You can focus on the beauty that you see in them every time you think about them. After you notice the beauty, always remember to say to them, “Thank you.” Every “Thank you” is a deposit into the universe in your behalf which then comes back to you with more to be thankful for. Just think of the benefits your children will have when they hear your appreciation of them.

You will get a better response from your children when you exercise this principle of gratitude on a daily basis. As you are thanking them for any and every positive thing they are doing, you will instill the grateful spirit within. Your children will be more inclined to do their best for you because they feel good when they receive compliments. There will be times when a healthy competition takes place as your children compete for your accolades with their projects. Utilizing the Law of Gratitude only insures a positive snowball effect in which everybody wins. 
 
Demonstrating gratitude with your children create bonds which open up trust channels within those young minds. Those young ones will gravitate closer to you and to what you are guiding them to follow. Demonstrating gratitude creates good feelings. The more you show gratitude, the more you can expect cooperation and excitement from them. This process will motivate you to find new reasons to be grateful.
 
 
Isn’t it time to go from angry, bullying, depressed and/or underachieving  children to happy, compassionate, achieving, loving children? YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassion parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”


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GRATITUDE for PARENTS part 2

12/24/2017

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SIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE DISCONNECTION THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW
 
Suppose, as a young child, that you were mistreated by a boy down the street. The boy called you stupid. You now dwell and dwell on that remark. You get more upset as the day goes on and you start becoming distracted by violent fantasies about him. Do you see what just happened here? Those negative emotions blocked any good from coming in, and those same feelings started increasing until nothing healthy resided within. You might even picture that boy being hit by a car, while you stood by smiling. The Law of Attraction was at work again.

As a child you could have thought about the many friends you had and the kindness that they displayed with you. As those good, positive thoughts dominated your mind, you started to attract more thoughts to feel good about. This is “appreciation in action” and when you are dealing with little ones, it is important to put these kinds of ideas into a practical package for them. Little ones will demonstrate appreciation more, instead of verbalizing appreciation. So as adults, we must suggest ways that they can demonstrate these appreciation principles.

They can share more, hug more, and laugh together more. They can show appreciation in their body language. Wallace Wattles in his book, The Science of Getting Rich, states that, “The Law of Gratitude is the natural principle that action and reaction are always equal, and in opposite directions.” This is a wonderful concept to share with your children as this internalized idea will help them throughout their “tween” years and the turbulent adolescent period as well. Just knowing that their grateful thoughts alone will reward them with more to be thankful for, causing more good feelings is satisfying. And as they show their gratitude or appreciation to others, understanding the Law of Gratitude, they will feel good knowing that action will return to them also.

“To permit your mind to dwell upon the inferior is to become inferior, and to surround yourself with inferior things.” - Wallace Wattles.

As children learn gratitude through activities more than through the “practical discussions” you like to have with them, they must feel good within first. If their inner world is dark, full of insecurities, emotional neglect, low self-esteem and a low self-image, they are NOT going to connect with this idea of gratitude that sounds good to you but has NO resonance with them.

Those “practical discussions” of gratitude that you love, could have a damaging effect if you are NOT connected emotionally to your child. Remember, when you are having discussions with them, to always keep in mind how they are receiving this information of yours. If you are on the page of “how it sounds to you” and “this is good for them” kind of mindset, you can cause a disconnect and will not create the kind of connecting results you are seeking. Children learn by doing and performing activities WITH you. This increases bonding and their receptive willingness to listen to you.

Let’s say you want to teach your children about being appreciative of the basic needs that are being provided by you such as food, clothing and shelter. They will shut you out if you decide to preach to them about what you are doing or providing for them and you will see a wall being built between you and them right before your eyes. But on the other hand, if you decide to do a field trip to the homeless shelter and volunteer in their feeding program AND they see you giving the homeless on the corners some assistance, your job will be done. They will have that Gratitude seed firmly planted and they WILL act in a more grateful way. Their attitude toward those in need AND appreciation for what they have will be in order.

The mind operates on the most dominant thought, so if your dominant thought is on what is NOT working or on what people are doing to you, then you are going to receive that kind of energy, again and again. This is why it is so important to be connected to your children. When you are connected, you will know when they are feeling bad about themselves or what they are going through. You can kindly intervene and help them with positive self-talk and reassurance from you that they are loved as the wonderful person that they are internally. Many kids feel they are flawed internally. You are NOT HAVING that kind of mind-set. Got it?!

Children learn a lot from seeing you in “gratitude action.” Like this example from one of my many experiences: I was in one of my favorite healthy grocery stores in the check-out lane. The cashier asked me if I found everything that I needed. I responded with, “I most certainly did and I really appreciate the wonderful healthy choices in here. By the way, how are you doing? I see you’re doing an excellent job here.” Well, she lit up and responded with, “Well, I’m doing much better now, thank you very much.” Watch how that starts affecting your child.

Your children need to know that gratitude energy becomes infectious as it grows and grows. You start looking for more things to be grateful for. That energy is very fulfilling and you want more of it. That is one of the many things that make us real human beings – demonstrating the Law of Gratitude; giving and receiving; wanting others to feel good; giving back something of what was given to you. Too many of you are uncomfortable with that exercise because you have some kind of resistance within. It is in this resistance where healing needs to take place. Good cannot come in if it is not welcomed. Would you want to be anywhere where you were not welcomed and made to feel ill at ease?

 
 
Isn’t it time to go from angry, bullying, depressed and/or underachieving  children to happy, compassionate, achieving, loving children?
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”

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GRATITUDE for Parents part 1

12/20/2017

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SIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE DISCONNECTION THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW
 
This topic is so important to understanding why life continues to bring you joy and happiness, and also disappointments and sadness; why nothing happens right for you (it seems) and why you experience layer upon layer of bliss and tranquility; why more and more layers of doom have your name on it and why your tomorrows are predictably harmonious and happy. Too many children are not taught this important principle. Kids hear the “blessing” at the dinner table, but that gratitude connection is hardly ever made. Kids and adults take too many things for granted. As you are arming yourself to be the best parent you can be, make sure you have this vital piece of ammunition ready for action.

A high self-esteem, high self-image and an attitude of gratitude go hand in hand. The more you value yourself and see yourself achieving, the more you want to give thanks. When a person devalues themselves, sees themselves as a “victim,” and doesn’t feel responsive to life, then they will not have the feeling of being grateful. Your kids won’t be what they don’t see. If you are NOT connected to your children and you begin talking to them about gratitude, they might respond from their lower self by saying to themselves, “Grateful for what?... - Feeling like I should go off and die somewhere? - Feeling like I have no worth whatsoever? - Feeling like there is no positive future for me at all? - Feeling like no one really cares? - Feeling like my coming here was just an accident? - Feeling unwanted? - Feeling like my parents really wanted to abort me? - For being a “cutter” and getting the only pleasurable feeling from self-inflicted pain? - For needing to control others through manipulation, guilt and abuse? - Feeling like I am here only to serve others and my voice has no impact?” What is she/he talking about?

Children need to know the: - Formula for life - Formula for an abundant life - Formula for a life that is always giving - Formula for receiving more out of life - Formula for realizing goals - Formula for successful relationships - Formula for successful business initiatives - Formula for increasing income - Formula for loving, giving families, which naturally include loving and giving children. When children see their parents showing gratitude to God, to one another, to others AND to their children, those children will have a strong respect for that parent that they would not ordinarily have.
 
When children internalize gratitude, they are kinder, gentler and more giving of themselves. When children are grateful, they feel good inside and want to share that inner joy and contentment. That is their way of showing gratitude, “Thank you for being my friend. I have some toys here, do you want to play with them?” The words “thank you” should be your child’s daily mantra. There is always something to be grateful for. The child needs to be taught this so they will grow up with an appreciating manner, instead of an obstinate, ego-centered one.
 
A loving, grateful child is a joy to behold and to spend time with. You must remember that if your child is not feeling and demonstrating good feelings within, gratitude is nowhere near to that child’s consciousness. You can’t expect your child to be and feel gratitude if your child is not feeling good within, is not validated enough and their self-esteem and self-image are less than zero.
A good habit to establish in your home would be to regularly talk about the blessings you have and as you do this, the feeling of gratitude reminds you of so much more that you have that you didn’t really think about. You didn’t have to have a nice warm bed to sleep in; or to have a nice warm, cozy house or apartment to live in; or have a wonderful, refreshing shower; clean water to drink, and good wholesome food to eat. These are only a handful of items. What about the air that you are breathing? In some areas of the world the air is so polluted that the breathing is adversely affected by the pollutants which in turn affects peoples’ immune systems which brings on dis-ease. I hear stories on the news about airborne illnesses. This raises the consciousness of your children and plants the seed of gratitude, even into their subconscious. If you notice your children focusing on what they don’t have and what someone is always doing to them, playing the victim role and their negative role in life, suggest to them to start listing all the things that are actually working in their life. This will be a start of an appreciation journal for them. When they do this, a shift in their thinking starts to take place, where before this exercise, they were dominated by the complaints and the things that weren’t working for them. This will be a start of an appreciation journal for them. When they do this, a shift in their thinking starts to take place, where before this exercise, they were dominated by the complaints and the things that weren’t working for them. Now after this exercise, they start to feel good about what they do have and what IS working for them: - Parents that love them - Clean clothes to wear - A nice house to live in - A nice neighborhood - Beautiful trees close by - Friendly people around - Good food provided to them - Warm bed – A loving supportive family.
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As they are feeling appreciative for what they do have, good feelings increase within, the Law of Attraction kicks in, and bring more things to them to be appreciative for. “Whatever we think about and thank about we bring about” -Dr. John Martini. When you start to feel differently about the things that you have, more will come your way.
 
Isn’t it time to go from angry, bullying, depressed and/or underachieving  children to happy, compassionate, achieving, loving children?
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”

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OPTIMISM for Parents part 3

12/11/2017

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SIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE DISCONNECTION THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW
 

When you are pessimistic, your immune system is compromised and you are open to whatever viruses and dis-eases are lurking about. Your immune system is also compromised when you are: - Holding grudges - Lying - Harboring some negativity such as hate or revenge - Ingesting illegal and even legal drugs - Thinking of injurious thoughts. Just think about how the next generation would be if they were taught this simple mindset. As now proven, an optimistic mind-set boosts the immune system and as the Law of Attraction says, you draw to you that which you mentally and emotionally dwell upon. “What you think about, you bring about.” And as Dr. Denis Waitley says, “You are dominated by your most prevalent thought.” Knowing this valuable information, why would you or anybody make a conscious choice of being pessimistic, thus drawing the worst instead of the best toward themselves? When you get the chance to breathe clean, pure air and seeing what a bright sunny day produces, a sane, healthy mind would not choose anything but pure and bright light instead of pollution and darkness. Your children need to know this. Everything is a mind-set. Almost anything can be perceived differently, depending on circumstances and where you are emotionally, spiritually and mentally. It comes back to the choices you and your children make. You have all heard the metaphor - “glass, half empty or glass, half full.” Doesn’t it feel good to feel good? When you demonstrate gratitude for the resources that you have, and you feed the homeless, doesn’t it feel good? When you tell your children, after this act of charity, that good is the only reward for good, they feel that. Since they know that the best in life is headed their way, they plan now on giving to those less fortunate.
 
Parents, too often, don’t take the time to find out what children really need to be healthy, balanced, contributing, sharing, and loving adults. They, like my own mother, just accept “on-the-job-training,” and let current circumstances guide them along the way. Meanwhile, the children have to deal with the consequences of the voids, on one level or another, and sometimes the void turns into a trauma that lasts well into their adulthood, affecting others in the environment. The emotional needs of the children are not prioritized.
Optimism should be studied, accepted, internalized, and demonstrated first by you, the parent, then you, in turn, will impart the same to your child. It would prove beneficial if the child hears and sees the benefits of being optimistic, and then be rewarded when they act in an optimistic manner. Optimism should be the theme of the household and will be felt by everyone that enters your home. The positive energy of optimism is very contagious.  When parents establish the energy of optimism into the household, the children become infected with this energy. In their minds they are thinking, “Well, if Mom/Dad can believe in the best in me there must something good in me to believe in.” These children are more likely to open themselves up to what their parent is bringing rather than shutting them out. Optimism is the key that unlocks the door, leading to the children’s mind. Once that door is open, a true partnership between the child and the parent is formed. That process plants the seed for the growth of miracles.
Optimism is also important for the camaraderie between parents. When parents support one another, boost each other and believe in the best in each other, you have an unstoppable team. This creates consistent modeling for the children. Children receive consistent messages everywhere they go which reinforces the optimistic standard established by YOU; And, they can’t play the “Bad Cop, Good Cop” game which happens all the time where parents are not fully supporting of one another with the SAME message.  
If your children’s world consists of homicides, drugs, prostitution, chaotic school systems, gang activities, fear, hatred and internal isolation, discussions about positive life-giving experiences are foreign and even unacceptable. This is life to them and these are the references they use to guide and shape their life. You have to demonstrate optimism first as a new way to view life. You will give them new references as you take them out of their familiar environment into new possibilities. All of this and more is possible and probable with the internalization of optimism.
 
Isn’t it time to go from angry, bullying, depressed and/or underachieving  children to happy, compassionate, loving children?
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”
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OPTIMISM for Parents part 2 – Nazim Rashid

12/5/2017

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SIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE DISCONNECTION THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW
 
You either receive the rewards of your proper mental mind-set or the punishments of your ignorance of the Law of Attraction. What kind of parent/child relationship do you really want? – One of contention or one of connection? One of mutual appreciation or one of disdain for the responsibility? Have you really given this question focused time and attention? You make choices every day for, or against your objectives. When you make the decisions that are not in your behalf and the pain sets in on one level or another, you wonder as you ask yourself, “Why is this happening?” Why don’t you think about the two universal laws you cannot escape? 1. Cause and Effect and 2. Law of Attraction.
You can understand why this subject of optimism is so important to have internalized as a parent. You can’t give what you don’t have. Children “Be what they see.” They do not, “Be what you say.” Children don’t understand the adult’s admonitions and directives apart from their physical presentation. (Remember the 93/7 rule of communication that I spoke of earlier?) In order for your training or molding to take place, you must have congruence with your total language. If you don’t have a firm belief in what you are saying or your body language is saying something else, your children will pick up on that. The results will be rebellion, arrogance, backtalk or just doing the thing that you told them not to do. When you internalize optimism, that energy is also picked up by your kids. When they see the best in you, which is demonstrated by your total language, you will naturally see them respond in a favorable way. So, as you are having discussions with your children, demonstrate optimism with him/her and tell them how much you believe in the best within them.

It is important to distinguish the outer self and their inner self. The outer self can err, do foolish and silly things and be mean-spirited. Whereas the inner self is always the self of truth, love, great potential, and is where all the great assets are hidden. Therefore, when you are consistent in saying how you love and believe in the best within them, you are going past their outer self of worldly influence. They can feel that, especially when they have done some kind of wrong and you still say the same thing about believing in their inner self and loving that which is within them.

Optimism is a missing factor in many of our young lives. Children have seen many devastations which can naturally affect their optimism, such as: - Parents arguing - Parents fighting - Ugly divorces - Dominating parents - Neglectful parents - Absent parents - Abusive parents - Child custody battles - Bullying - Sibling rivalries – Preferential treatments in household - Peer conflicts - Fears of the street life - Fears of the uncontrolled public schools - Fears of isolation and loneliness. Pessimism has become a way of life. Many have accepted it as their burden to bear, although their inner self lets them know that something is terribly wrong. Optimism will bring hope, love and light to a dim life of despair and depression. Optimism, once modeled and consistently demonstrated, will stimulate and motivate the person to dig down into their most inward possibilities and bring forth the greatness that matches their new levels of self-esteem and self-image. When a parent shows that they are optimistic about their child, and says to them that they truly believe and are supportive in the best that is within them, there is nothing that child feels they cannot accomplish.

The healthy-minded parent says to their child that: - They see in them, greatness which is greater than anything they could imagine - They see gold mines within them - They were born through excellence, greatness and by the Grace of God - They have a promised destiny to be major contributors in life. When a child hears and feels the energy of these statements from their parent(s), this is when the seed of miracles is planted. Whatever that child decides to do as they mature, their objective will be seen through the eyes of optimism, excellence, and making their goals a historic fact. You parents must see yourselves as winners in the parenting role you have accepted. Winners in life expect to win in advance because they think like winners. They see themselves crossing the finish line before they start. This is what makes optimism a real step by step process. Too often when people hear the word optimism, they blow it off or they say, “Sure I believe in the best,” without knowing the process to make it real in their lives. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. BELIEVE YOU ARE WORTH RECEIVING IT. KNOW YOU DESERVE IT. SEE YOURSELF ENJOYING IT. FEEL THE FEELINGS OF HAVING IT. GIVE THANKS FOR RECEIVING IT, AND THEN KNOW THAT IT IS YOURS. Tell your children that there is a certain energy attached to optimism and when they are truly optimistic, people around them can feel it and they in turn start to feel positive. This is what they want – positive influences being attracted to them instead of the negative ones. Optimistic energy draws more optimistic energy to them, while those who are pessimistic won’t come around. When they internalize optimism, they emit an aura of protection against negative thoughts.

Optimism is my dominant vibration. Tell yourself this every morning. Negative thoughts are always going to be around, but they are at a minimum when they are charged with these positive ions of optimism. There is now, no welcome mat for negativity, so why would negativity hang around where it is not welcomed? Your children now feel better inside and outside. If they have a cold or some other type of dis-ease in their body temple, they will get better faster with an optimistic mind-set than one that is not optimistic.
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Optimism is also connected to a healthy immune system and overall good health. Tell your children that when they have a mind-set of optimism, they raise their immune system, thus warding off many possible viruses or other illnesses that might come their way. They could be around other children who are sick and not get affected at all due to the level of optimism they have internalized.
 
How to go from angry, bullying, depressed and/or underachieving  children to happy, compassionate, loving children
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting” 

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    Nazim Rashid

    The Compassionate Parent Coach, Author, Personal Growth Coach, Recovery Coach and Professional Speaker. I want the very best for you and I would love to witness you acknowledging the greatness within yourself and acting on the new YOU that you have now become. 

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