SIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE FRUSTRATION AND FEELINGS OF FAILURE THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW
There are unwritten rules in the family that lend itself to co-dependency and dysfunction. Here are some of them:
- It’s not okay to talk about problems
- Feelings should not be expressed openly; keep feelings to yourself
- Be strong, (Men don’t cry)
- Be good, right and perfect
- Make us proud beyond realistic expectations
- Do as I say, not as I do
- It’s not okay to play or be playful
- Don’t rock the boat
- Children are to be seen and not heard
- (Gender expectations) Girls are to be cute and quiet and boys are to be strong, controlling and not to express emotions.
Any of this sound familiar to you?
As a result of accepting these “rules,” children develop harmful behavior and characteristics. They also have diminished problem-solving skills and immature reactions to situations in adult life. As they mature into adolescence and adulthood, their view of the world and relationships are all influenced by their subconscious and sometimes conscious acceptance of co-dependency.
When the boys witness their dad abusing and berating their mother on a regular basis, they grow up thinking, that is what men are supposed to do with their girlfriends and wives. When girls grow up with co-dependent mothers, who can’t stand up for themselves, and allows the husband to play the domineering role, disrespecting her authority in the house and her as a person, she attracts men into her life who will fill the role of a domineering brute, because that is what she knows. She has been conditioned to accept this behavior as normal. When fear is the dominant theme in the household, everyone in that household has fear as a dominant emotion and acts from that emotion in one form or another.
If children don’t live with healthy family models, they will never internalize healthy family ideals (unless they take time to find healthy models elsewhere and attach themselves to this new source of happiness, which rarely happens). You manifest what you have been exposed to in your immediate environment. Whatever is experienced in the household is considered normal on one level or another, OR you take the other end of the spectrum and adopt the “counter-dependent personality” and shut out everyone.
You don’t always accept misbehavior consciously, but on the subconscious level there is an area of acceptance. You also tend to consciously or subconsciously correct the wrongs you experienced. But in going this route, you are concentrating so much on what you DON’T want, that you forget to focus on what you DO want for yourself. What do you really want? And, as the Law of Attraction dictates, again you draw onto yourself that which you habitually allow to dominate your consciousness or become your dominant vibration.
Since your children “be what they see” not “be what you say,” it is critical to model the best relationship with EVERYONE in the household. Healthy, balanced relationships are wonderful, attainable and to be desired. Relationships in which mutual respect, compassion, empathy, and support for healthy, independent mind-sets is a great ideal to have, but unfortunately this is not one that has been supported by our current dysfunctional culture. Just think how wonderful children feel who are in these types of healthy households.
Isn’t it time to go from feeling frustrated, lost, overwhelmed and the feeling of failure to feeling confident, calm, relieved and successful?
Together we can transform your children from being angry, bullying, moody or too quiet to happy, compassionate, loving children. YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassionate parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”
There are unwritten rules in the family that lend itself to co-dependency and dysfunction. Here are some of them:
- It’s not okay to talk about problems
- Feelings should not be expressed openly; keep feelings to yourself
- Be strong, (Men don’t cry)
- Be good, right and perfect
- Make us proud beyond realistic expectations
- Do as I say, not as I do
- It’s not okay to play or be playful
- Don’t rock the boat
- Children are to be seen and not heard
- (Gender expectations) Girls are to be cute and quiet and boys are to be strong, controlling and not to express emotions.
Any of this sound familiar to you?
As a result of accepting these “rules,” children develop harmful behavior and characteristics. They also have diminished problem-solving skills and immature reactions to situations in adult life. As they mature into adolescence and adulthood, their view of the world and relationships are all influenced by their subconscious and sometimes conscious acceptance of co-dependency.
When the boys witness their dad abusing and berating their mother on a regular basis, they grow up thinking, that is what men are supposed to do with their girlfriends and wives. When girls grow up with co-dependent mothers, who can’t stand up for themselves, and allows the husband to play the domineering role, disrespecting her authority in the house and her as a person, she attracts men into her life who will fill the role of a domineering brute, because that is what she knows. She has been conditioned to accept this behavior as normal. When fear is the dominant theme in the household, everyone in that household has fear as a dominant emotion and acts from that emotion in one form or another.
If children don’t live with healthy family models, they will never internalize healthy family ideals (unless they take time to find healthy models elsewhere and attach themselves to this new source of happiness, which rarely happens). You manifest what you have been exposed to in your immediate environment. Whatever is experienced in the household is considered normal on one level or another, OR you take the other end of the spectrum and adopt the “counter-dependent personality” and shut out everyone.
You don’t always accept misbehavior consciously, but on the subconscious level there is an area of acceptance. You also tend to consciously or subconsciously correct the wrongs you experienced. But in going this route, you are concentrating so much on what you DON’T want, that you forget to focus on what you DO want for yourself. What do you really want? And, as the Law of Attraction dictates, again you draw onto yourself that which you habitually allow to dominate your consciousness or become your dominant vibration.
Since your children “be what they see” not “be what you say,” it is critical to model the best relationship with EVERYONE in the household. Healthy, balanced relationships are wonderful, attainable and to be desired. Relationships in which mutual respect, compassion, empathy, and support for healthy, independent mind-sets is a great ideal to have, but unfortunately this is not one that has been supported by our current dysfunctional culture. Just think how wonderful children feel who are in these types of healthy households.
Isn’t it time to go from feeling frustrated, lost, overwhelmed and the feeling of failure to feeling confident, calm, relieved and successful?
Together we can transform your children from being angry, bullying, moody or too quiet to happy, compassionate, loving children. YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassionate parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”
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