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OPTIMISM for Parents part 1

11/18/2017

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SIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE DISCONNECTION THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW

This mind-set has must exist before any new parental objectives or goals can be realized. Optimism - “ism” means “a belief in” and “optim” comes from the word “optimal” and the Latin word “optimus,” which means “the most, the max, the best, all the way, the top of.” So, optimism, for our purpose here, means “The strong belief that the best is possible and probable in my life.” Your life reflects your belief system. - The benefits of being optimistic are: - Improved relationships - An experience of more positive rewards and positive people - Others are affected by your positive energy - Improved health- Self-esteem raised - Self-image expanded - Overall good feelings increased – Best Parenting Skills – YES!
 
Affirmations are a great way to implant optimism into your consciousness and eventually into your subconscious. Here is the idea of self-talk again to establish and maintain Optimism as a natural way of life. Affirmations in the mirror are more powerful as you are actually talking to yourself and is more meaningful. As you say affirmations regularly, you actually start re-wiring your brain to receive more optimistic experiences. Regarding your children: - You start to see more positive characteristics, possibilities and activities. Since you are tuning yourself to the “Optimisitc channel,” their positive inclinations are more apparent to you. What you notice starts growing, as you suggest optimistic choices and applaud their optimistic choices.  Optimism - “The strong belief that the best is possible and probable in my life.” Keeping this definition in mind, you NOW have the belief that the Best Parenting Ideas, the Best Parent/Child Relationship, the Best, Healthiest Example of a Loving Parent, the Greatest Validator, the Greatest Self-Esteem Builder, all is a natural part of you and this acknowledgment feels good. So, you can look at yourself in the mirror and say these “reminders” of what you have already established for yourself: “I see the best in my children today,” “I know that only Good belongs to them, and I will recognize this good as often as I can.” “I AM the Great Validator,” “I AM the Great Supporter of my children’s dreams and aspirations.”
 
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Some of your parents might be saying, “That just isn’t real. I am a Realist” - “I don’t know anybody that has a morning like that in the mirror. That is a lot of Pollyanna.” Well, the fact is that many people do this each and every day. It is these people who understand the great Secret. The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, is a wonderful book that describes the universal Law of Attraction. You discover that you attract what you are thinking about. The mind operates from its dominant thought, or vibration, so if you are thinking about anything you don’t want, you are going to attract that same thing to you. Why? Because that, is the object on your mind. For example, you wish your children would clean up their room and stop being the sloppiest children you’ve ever seen.  You are thinking about this sloppy scenario repeatedly. What kind of room and children are you going to see? Have any wild guesses? You know the answer. By the Law of Attraction, you brought THAT scenario into existence.
 
There are some prerequisites before you manifest this “Super Parent.” You must be a good visualizer. You must really see yourself enjoying the benefits of the bonding, connecting parent of happy children on your mind. Afterwards, you need to apply strong feelings to your prize image. Feel the feelings of having that image come true, that you have already are living it. Close your eyes and imagine that you are already enjoying: - a loving 2 way relationship with your children – a relationship where your children feel comfortable sharing their deep feelings – them allowing you to enter their world of imagination and dreams.

The Law of Attraction says that whatever you think about, you bring about. The way you think is a choice that you make. You can think the best thoughts about your children OR you can think about the possible trouble they are getting into at school. You can think about the health and all the good that you and your children have OR you can think about infirmities, other aches, pains and discomforts that you and your family might have. You can think about the money you have been blessed to have, the wonderful financial future that awaits you because you deserve it, and feel that it is already yours OR you can think about all the debt your children are causing you and the negative future more debt will bring. You see it is all a matter of choice. You can think about the little blessings that God gave you as you recognize that your young ones    are in good health, and their grades in school are good OR you can think about the unruly kids in the house, making noise and keeping their room a total mess. You can think about all the good that you have received and as you ponder on the many, many blessings that you are grateful for, tears start to form OR you can think about the depressing thoughts that the sometime pass through your mind regarding life and life lessons. Yep, it is all a matter of choice.
 
You can choose to be happy or choose to be miserable. You can see your children as the blessings that they are or a curse from God. You are in control of those choices and no one else holds that responsibility. When you choose to be happy and optimistic, according to the Law of Attraction, you must receive the same, which will add to your happiness and reaffirm your optimism. There is always something to notice wrong with children, in general, because of them learning by trial and error and not really knowing their place in this unfamiliar earthly environment. Why focus your needed energy on faults and “why me” questions? If some of those things get fixed, there will just be more to take its place. Why? Because you are attracting more of the same to be there. It is not going to stop, so why be in that mode of continuing to bring on more unhappiness?
 
How about focusing on the other side? Misery and disappointment is not your only choice. There is another side that is being ignored on too many occasions. There is a lot of RIGHT with you, your surroundings and the children that you were blessed to receive. A rose has beautiful smelling, brilliant petals, and it has some very sharp thorns. What are you going to focus on? What are you choosing to receive? The prick or the fragrance? The punishment or the reward? And that is what it really comes down to in life.
 
How to go from angry, bullying, depressed and/or underachieving  children, to happy, compassionate, confident and loving children

Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”
 


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COMMUNICATION & LISTENING SKILLS for Parents part 3

11/12/2017

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SIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE DISCONNECTION THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW

It is important to demonstrate impartiality with your child. Kids want you to take sides all the time and they want your advice on everything. Since your role is to stimulate the thinking process in their young minds, you are going to be in the position of asking a lot of questions. You might ask, “What do you think about so and so? How do you feel about that? What would you do if you had the power to make a change? What do you think is the right thing to do? How would you feel if the same thing happened to you? How did it feel when you did that to them? Do you think that was the right thing to do?” Instead of judging, turn matters around through your questioning. This makes them think about their situation and usually they come up with their own answer(s). And when they do, they OWN the answer. It is their property because they created it themselves. You can tell them that the answer lies within them. Tell them that your questions make them think more on their own. Tell them that you love it when they think on their own and come up with their own answers. “That’s what real men (or women) do. You are doing great.” You are there to guide them along the way with love and understanding. Practice being impartial with little ones around you and see what happens.
 
Paraphrasing is another tool to be recognized and utilized. Paraphrasing is another way to facilitate connection. When you paraphrase to your child, he or she has the sense that you really heard them because in paraphrasing, you are retelling their story in your own words. When you paraphrase, make sure you get “confirming feedback” to make sure you are correct in your interpretation of their story. Ask them, “Now did I get that right?” When they answer positively then you know you have scored points with them. To paraphrase correctly you must really hear the details of their story, so that requires you to pay attention and concentrate on them and them alone.
 
As the parent, who wants the best communication possible with your children, you also must be a great Active Listener, which means you are “physically showing support.” Your body language is demonstrating interest. Your eye contact is direct. (this is why, getting physically down to their level so they are looking straight into your eyes, not upward is important.) You are really understanding and concentrating on what they are saying and not on how you are feeling. You are making mental, and sometimes actual, notes on their main points. “Listening” means to pay close attention to, to give your ear and yourself. You must develop and internalize sharp skills and the ability to listen objectively with a keen sense of “demonstrated empathy.” When you empathetically listen to them, you start to process their situation from THEIR frame of reference instead of your own. True listening requires, first, that you are not preoccupied, for if you are, you cannot fully receive the information from your child.

I need to address body language. Body language is very important in this topic of Communication and Listening Skills. Body language is referred to as “nonverbal cues.” Statistics say that 93% of effective communication is through nonverbal cues (55% is body language and 38% is through tone of voice) and only 7% is through actual words. Therefore, it is important to understand the 93/7 Principle of Communication. Since the clear majority of communication that gets through is nonverbal, you must recognize what you are communicating with your child.

Observe children as they model the parents’ behavior. They are more influenced by the body language and tone of voice than by their actual words. “Do as I say and not as I do,” does not work, as we see children, teens and adults follow what they see and not what they hear. This saying, “Kids be what they see,” is more accurate. How are you standing, folding your arms, leaning forward in the chair or slouching? Look at your hands on your hips, looking at the clock constantly, one foot out of the door while talking. And observe yourself standing while others are sitting, holding a conversation while looking at television or on the computer. You must have some congruency about yourself in this regard. The word “congruent” means, “matching, agreeing, coinciding.” It sends clear, consistent messages to your child. Incongruency, on the other hand, leads to confusion, to nonacceptance, and then to rebellion. When your child gets mixed messages, you are sending this subtle message to them, “I want you to believe my hypocrisy,” and/or “I am trying to hide something.” Neither of these messages work. Your words must match your body language to show that you are communicating effectively. Understanding body language increases your understanding of how to connect with your child. You might be evaluating, judging, approving, disapproving, agreeing, disagreeing, confirming and/or denying, all by your body language. As you are communicating with your child, you want to ask at various intervals about their feelings. As you are asking them how they feel, they will, from the pattern that you are establishing, bond more with you and really feel validated. When their innocent heart detects sincerity, it opens itself up for love and connection.
 
Communication and listening skills are critically important for successful parenting experiences. When the parent establishes the rules of communicating and listening, and their children adhere to those rules and roles, miracles can happen in these areas: - Order increases – Respecting of themselves and others - Empathy is demonstrated - Peer compassion is a normal part of household culture - Validation of peers - Active listening is demonstrated regularly.
 

 - How to go from angry children to happy, loving children - 
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”

 

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    Nazim Rashid

    The Compassionate Parent Coach, Author, Personal Growth Coach, Recovery Coach and Professional Speaker. I want the very best for you and I would love to witness you acknowledging the greatness within yourself and acting on the new YOU that you have now become. 

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