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SELF-ESTEEM part 4 for Parents

9/23/2017

A high self-esteemed person may talk or write to a low self-esteemed person about a personal matter. The low esteemed person will generally misinterpret, misunderstand and/or completely miss the point and intention of the other person. The low esteemed one will think that they are being criticized, disrespected and/or attacked, when that wasn’t the intention at all of the other party. They will only see words or hear words that they feel are the criticizing ones and leave out all the rest. They won’t see the whole letter or conversation in the proper context. Before they open the letter or before the other person begins to speak to them, they are armed for a fight.

Parents, you need to know that self-esteem affects your children’s senses also. It is like wearing colored glasses. The high self-esteemed person is wearing the blue glasses and the low self-esteemed person is wearing the green glasses. It won’t matter how logical and intelligent the first party is toward the second party, the second party is always going to view their world through those green glasses. That’s what they have chosen to put on, either consciously or unconsciously. There is no real communication between these two, until they have on the same colored glasses. Your children need to know that their hearing, touch and smell are also affected. The low self-esteemed person will hear the worst, feel the worst and smell the worst. The high self-esteemed person will hear the best, feel the best and smell the best, because they are looking for the best in everything. You experience the way you want to experience or the manner you have been conditioned to experience. This is another reason I want Parents to always be in a high Self-Esteem building mode with language, behavior and activities.

The parental standards that you were conditioned to accept as you were growing up don’t have to be a permanent part of your life or your children’s lives. As you mature in your emotionality and spirituality, you can make conscious choices about how you want your life and your children’s lives to unfold. You can reset your internal thermostat to whatever you choose for yourself. If those old traditional standards worked for your parents, then that is great for them. It doesn’t mean, however, that they will work for your life. In order to set new parental standards you might need to change your: - Belief system - Religion - Self-talk - Friends - Habits – Emotional Environment - What you allow into your consciousness, such as contrary messages from television and social conversations. I know there are some parents that just naturally build up everyone they meet and they are always a joy to be around. They are known as angels and they bring warmth and compassion everywhere they go. These are the rare souls here on earth and when you experience these angels you never forget it. AND you could be this kind of parent. See it, Claim it, Be it!

It is important to mention self-appreciation as it coincides with your self-esteem. There is a higher self in you that is always working on your behalf whether you are conscious of it or not. This is the self that God breathed into you as you were developing in the womb. This is the part of you that is divine and the same self that will go on after you leave this life. This is the self that never dies. This self has also been called your soul. This is the self that was with God before this earthly experience and will return back to God after this experience. It is this self that needs our appreciation. As children learn by observation, they will in turn learn to appreciate their spirit within.

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SELF-ESTEEM part 3

9/14/2017

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It would have been healthier if you told your children that they had an endless supply of gold and treasures within and everything they need for the complete fulfillment of their life. The healthier and stronger they become, and the more insight of their own greatness they realize, translates to them being able to tap that reservoir inside and thus receive the benefits. Now, that all by itself will make them feel good.

“I love and accept myself. Deep in the center of me flows an infinite well spring of love. Love fills my whole being and radiates out from me in all directions, returning to me multiplied. I give and receive more love every day and the supply is endless.” – Louise Hay -If you were never told this, start today saying this to yourself until it becomes so natural and the words flow out of your mouth effortlessly. Once this is internalized you can direct these words to your little ones.

As you are learning how to be a The Great Self-Esteem Builder for your children, you are going to tell your children high self-esteem making statements and affirmations. You are going to tell him or her how you feel about them, their potentials, possibilities, and probabilities. When you are interacting with them, you are going to express to them how they make you feel when they are displaying the greatness of their own genius within. Just telling your children that you love them will have tremendous results, all by itself. Try saying that to your reflection in the mirror and see what feelings are stirred up within. Children need to be around adults who naturally express their feelings of health and wellness. They learn by the examples they see in their immediate environment. When they see you expressing joy and happiness in hearing of someone else’s accomplishments, they in turn will do the same when someone they know tells them of something good that they have done.
As you are encouraging your children to feel they can do and be anything, let them know that their self-esteem rises when they can influence some kind of change in their environment. This feeling adds to their self-worth and gives their life more meaning. They need to know that they can influence something around them. They need to know that they have some kind of gift, talent, passion or answer that the world is needing. They do have the ability to deliver this message and they know that
this message will create needed changes that somebody will appreciate. This is why volunteering for Service Organizations is good. Ask them questions and see what possibilities are within them for influencing something around them.

Keep in mind the health and emotional well-being of both yourself and your children is your foremost priority. So you are not going to entertain the “lower vibration” of other kinds of standards in your past or environment, such as “cultural self-esteem” as coined by Caroline Myss or any low self-esteem experienced in your history. WHAT YOU VALIDATE, YOU ASSOCIATE. You are going to ONLY validate and accept that which is alignment with your higher self and your higher self wants ONLY that which is good, healthy and life promoting. Caroline Myss talks about the “cultural self-esteem” or “group self-esteem” as the controlling standard many of us grew up accepting, for not to accept this resulted in punishment or ostracizing. This could be influencing your parenting style.

Another reason for you building your children’s self-esteem is because it affects their communication with others. Those who have a low self-esteem often view and perceive their world differently than those who possess a high level of self-esteem. Those with challenged self-esteem are inclined to be more defensive and hypersensitive. They are generally quicker to think that they are being attacked, talked down to, ignored, disrespected and/or slighted in some way or another. Some of them even have that on their mind when they are with people or just out in the public. It is like they are looking for someone that, in their mind, is finding fault with them in some way. It’s the Law of Attraction in action. Some appear to be picking a fight. You see this kind of personality at public high schools when classes end and the students are coming out, waiting for the bus, their rides, or just hanging out.

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SELF-ESTEEM part 2

9/10/2017

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What comes to your mind when you think about building your children’s self-esteem? Do you know what self-esteem is? Do you think that it means just to make sure your children “feel good” about themselves? Or just to feel good? A bank robber feels good as she gets away with the ‘loot.’ A heroin user feels good after their ‘hit.’ A bully feels good after he abuses his victim. Self-Esteem is you believing in your higher self; you having confidence in your own mind and in your own ability to judge; you experiencing yourself as deserving of happiness; you perceiving yourself as a descent, worthwhile lovable person.

“I cannot think of a single psychological problem, from anxiety and depression to fear of intimacy or of success, to alcohol or drug abuse, to underachievement at school or at work, to spouse battering or child molestation, to a sexual dysfunction or emotional immaturity, to suicide and crimes of violence, that is not traceable to the problem of poor self-esteem.” – Dr. Nathaniel Branden

I studied Dr. Branden’s work and his work influenced me the most to write my book, Reconnected, and do the kind of work I do today.Your success or your failure in life is directly tied to your level of self-esteem. Self-esteem speaks to the intrinsic value of you. It is an assessment of your competence to live, your worthiness, and your happiness. What is your estimate of you? Too often people say they feel good about themselves but they don’t really value themselves adequately. At various times they may have suicide ideations or other negative fantasies about themselves. So we have to go a bit deeper when we are investigating the idea of self-esteem. High self-esteem speaks to the level of integrity you have; real inner confrontations won; reconciling your inner self with your outer self which is the basis of this book. It is also about assessing our real courage and how honesty is attained and internalized. High self-esteem is much more than just feeling good about your self. It is reflected in your personality, your productivity at work and at home with your family, your character, your general way with people, and the spirit that you carry with you always.

Have you ever told your children that it is quite normal, natural and wonderful to feel great, deep inside of them? At their core and in their quiet moments they should have good feelings about themselves, place a high value on their existence and that they have a God given right to be happy. For the healthy, conscious parents it is natural to tell them that they are a great, unique, special creation that God had put on this earth to do perform miracles. God has given them a mission, a talent that belongs to them, exclusively. God has certain Blessings He has created for mankind and He wants to deliver them through His special creation, them.

As you are developing your children in a healthy manner, you are preparing them, unconsciously and maybe consciously, to become the vessel for God’s Blessing to mankind. When they are not developing in a healthy manner, God’s Blessings cannot come through them and hence mankind is deprived. It should be apparent now why it is so important to be healthy. It is also important for them to model for others what health looks and feels like, so others can be motivated to be that way, too. They have to really feel that they deserve health, happiness and the abundance that life has to offer.

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VISUALIZATION

9/6/2017

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Children naturally come here full of curiosity and as they are like dry sponges, they soak up whatever is in their environment and imagine what else is behind what they are experiencing. In their minds they are asking what this does, what that does - Can I change it? Can it do something else? Can it please me? How does it taste? How does it feel? Can I play with it? Their minds are very active and desire stimulation. They are completely open for new experiences with no biases or judgments. As soon as they are ready for your interaction, you are going to encourage them and join them in their imaginations.

When your children experience you loving their playful activities and joining them in their imaginations, they feel ok in continuing these activities. This “visualization muscle” gets strengthened more and more as this validation from you continues. As you encourage them to visualize, telling them that anything is possible and that they can do or be anything they can imagine for themselves, you will see them become motivated to be more creative in general. All it takes is for them to really know that you are supporting their dreams and aspirations.

You might think it is silly to go along and pretend with your kids as they are creating a playful reality or story. You might tell them that they should stop pretending and “get real” or you might even discourage them from engaging in anything you deem as silly or too “childish.” Entering their world would be completely unthinkable for some of you. If someone would ask you to be more compassionate and understanding of your children’s fantasies, you might say “And why would anyone do something so foolish as that?” or “What adult would do such a thing?” or “I’m not thinking about doing any such thing. I am the parent, not another kid.” Now do you see why this is so important to address?

When you support your children in their dreams and visions, you are supporting their creativity and aspirations. When they see you supporting, gently guiding, offering compassionate suggestions and encouragement, those children see no limits in life. This is why you should encourage your children to visualize often. You should help them to dream creatively. Support their dream experiences and ask open questions about their dreams. In this way, you will be supporting their future aspirations, goals and motivations. Their self-esteem, self-image and self-confidence increase dramatically.

Would you call yourself a creative person? When you were very young, did you have dreams that you never manifested? Did you have support for those dreams? Were you allowed to share your dreams and ideas? Was there a welcoming atmosphere in your household for expressions from children? Were your parents encouraging in the areas of your interest? Did you feel really connected to your parents? If your answers are not in the affirmative, then it would be naturally challenging to be the best, loving supporter of your children, because you have no idea what that feels like.

You, as the wonderful, motivated parent that you are, will encourage your children to dream their best dreams. You will say to them, “Imagine yourselves as doctors, actors, contractors, stock brokers, musicians, school teachers, social workers, bankers, etc. Right before you go to bed tonight, imagine your best future so that when you dream, your mind will expand the idea. You will wake up feeling so happy and wonderful.” As you support their visions, they will feel better about themselves. Just knowing that your parent is supportive of your aspirations, despite their enormity or abstractness, bonding and trust levels increase. When parents demonstrate that they believe in their children, they believe more in their possibilities.

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Nazim Rashid

The Compassionate Parent Coach, Author, Personal Growth Coach, Recovery Coach and Professional Speaker. I want the very best for you and I would love to witness you acknowledging the greatness within yourself and acting on the new YOU that you have now become.

SELF-ESTEEM part 4 for Parents

SELF-ESTEEM part 3

SELF-ESTEEM part 2

VISUALIZATION

Nazim Rashid

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