SIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE FRUSTRATION AND FEELINGS OF FAILURE THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW
Learning how to love unconditionally is definitely a process that takes some understanding. There is a spirit of anger and hate and a spirit of love that needs explanation. You, as the wonderful parent that you are, have to first understand that God’s Spirit is in everyone, including your sometimes, nerve-wrecking bundle of joy. Every person, young and old, that you see, regardless of their presentations, has the spirit of God within and it is this spirit that you should love, because where God is, your love should be, as you love where God is. And where is God not? God is everywhere, so it is wise to look for the good, which is the same as looking for God, in everything. Even when we don’t see any trace of God in some people (lol), know that God is there anyway. So, now you understand what Love Unconditionally means, right? It doesn’t mean to love BEHAVIOR unconditionally, but to love God which is always within, unconditionally. It is a SPIRITUAL CONCEPT. When you love your child unconditionally, you are loving that divine spirit unconditionally, not their adverse behavior. When their behavior earns restrictions/punishments, then restrictions/punishments are given.
You don’t “let them slide” from earned admonishments because you “love” them. Your child might think that way, but you have to remind them that the love you have for them is for the special loving spirit within them, and NOT when they are acting in misalignment of that special loving spirit. You have to say this repeatedly because your child might think that because you “love” them, they can act any way they want. When your children get a little older into their teens, they might think they can do illegal activity like drugs or petty theft and get away with it. When they get caught and arrested, they automatically assume that you are going to bail them out and take them home, because you “LOVE” them. When you don’t bail them out and make them sit in jail for a while to think about what they have done, they feel betrayed by you. “I thought she loved me,” they will say. They never understood “love unconditionally” to be a “spiritual concept” and not a “behavior concept.” You can love your child and have them arrested, if need be. You stay in love with the healthy, divine spirit within and when they act in alignment of THAT spirit, by all means the demonstration of love is seen. No Co-Dependency here. The child and their behavioral choices have nothing to do with God being present within them and should have nothing to do with our love for that spirit. You have to separate the Spirit within them from the behavior of the child you are observing.
A mother can have children who are rebellious, contrary, disobedient, and just plain nerve wrecking. Is that mother supposed to hate or have uncontrolled anger directed toward them? The practical, loving mother will let her understanding and love dominate her emotions, realizing that children have their own issues at different stages of their development and that they need sometimes a firmer, stricter environment to help them control themselves, which will help them re-channel some of that high energy. Knowing that God is always in her child keeps her focused on being practical and intelligent, even when her child displays aversive behavior.
Another example is that of a single mother. This mother had four children and divorced their father when the children were still very young. The children loved their father, even though he was abusive, very controlling to their mother and was unfaithful. After ten years of this abuse and enabling, the wife finally went through the divorce procedure. The children started to develop anger toward the mother and tried to sabotage the divorce by lying to the social workers, in order for the parents to stay together. The divorce was finalized and the anger of the children, now in their early adulthood, increased. The children, now on their own, barely speak to the mother and have dysfunctional, enabling families of their own. The mother has always wanted nothing more than to have a loving family and tight bonds between everyone, but there was nothing but contention when they spoke to her.
What disposition is this mother supposed to have? What do you think?
What disposition is this mother supposed to have? Look at these choices:
1. To move on with her life now, especially since she is not responsible for them anymore?
2. To completely let go of her adult children, and not let their negativity or their presence be in her life or mind?
3. To let go of the negative emotions she is carrying from them, (knowing that those emotions do not belong to her), love the God spirit within them, holding on dearly to that part of them and not
letting them physically bring their negative spirit around her?
4. To hold on to them completely the way they are, allowing their unresolved anger to burden her emotionally, calling this “loving my kids?”
If you guessed number #3, you are correct. By respecting yourself, you are not going to allow anyone to disrespect you or your spirit. This is honoring the God spirit within you. You can love them from a distance if necessary and be perfectly fine with that. When number #4 is chosen, the spirit of addiction and co-dependency is very close by. With that decision you have depression, frustration, sadness, a void in your heart, and a vacuum in your soul. This is when the spirit of addiction and co-dependency pays you a visit and says, “Don’t worry, I’m here now to take care of you. Just relax and roll up your sleeve. It’s going to be all right.”
Isn’t it time to go from feeling frustrated, lost, overwhelmed and the feeling of failure to feeling confident, calm, relieved and successful?
Together we can transform your children from being angry, bullying, moody or too quiet to happy, compassionate, loving children. YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassionate parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”
RSS Feed