Mon, 13 May 2024 09:40:42 -0700WeeblySun, 30 Jun 2019 15:57:09 GMThttp://cloudsofabundance.com/blog/identifying-and-managing-emotions-part-6-nazim-rashidSIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE FRUSTRATION AND FEELINGS OF FAILURE THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW!



​Your inner world and outer world will be safer with you knowing how to get the upper hand on stress. You’ll be able to kick stress’s butt before stress can kick yours. The super hero who will save you from the gloom and doom perils of the stress villain will be you. (Are your cape and tights ready?) You will save yourself from the misery, depression, rage, anger, fright, violence, and other psychotic behavior that can occur as a result of not catching the stress build-up before it was uncontrollable. Just imagine how your children will feel when they understand this, internalize this and love their new level of empowerment from utilizing this.

You will know just how to cut off the flow of negative energy, thus preventing any behavior that you will be sorry about later. It feels good to be more connected to your body. You will feel healthier in general because you are listening to the small subtle signs that your body is relating to you. This kind of communication can offset headaches, muscle aches and pains, stiffness and even digestive issues. Your children’s confidence will be so strong that they will feel unstoppable in their life pursuits. Most people don’t know how to consistently manage their emotions and you can see by the negative consequences that follow that a portion of their life is unmanageable.
Here are some emotional intelligence fundamentals:
 
• KNOW YOURSELF
• Choose for Yourself
• Giving of Yourself
• The Six-second Pause
 
KNOW YOURSELF
 
What makes you think, act and feel the way you do? What parts of your reactions are habitual and which parts are intentional? What are you afraid of? These are excellent questions to ask yourself AND a good teaching tool for your children. The more they can think about why they feel and react the way that they do, the more responsible they become.  
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BUILD EMOTIONAL LITERACY part 1
 
Feelings are a complex aspect of every person. While research has identified eight core feelings (FEAR, JOY, ACCEPTANCE, ANGER, SORROW, DISGUST, SURPRISE, EXPECTATION), we each experience dozens, even hundreds of variations each day. By the way, another research group has identified their own eight primary feelings with their own subcategories. They are ANGER, SADNESS, FEAR, ENJOYMENT, LOVE, SURPRISE, DISGUST AND SHAME. I am aligned with this second research group. These emotions blend, merge and frequently conflict. Emotional Intelligence helps you understand how emotions function in your brain and body, and the interaction of thought, feeling and action.  This is so important for parents to understand this so they can help their children with their unmanaged emotions. It is important to help your child with their feeling vocabulary. Start introducing different feeling labels as early as possible. When kids can clearly identify their feelings, they will feel better about themselves and you will know what is going on within them. Many parents have children who are displaying angry, aggressive behavior towards them and anybody in their environment. They don’t know how to express what they really feel. They throw whatever is near, sometimes dangerous items, toward the first person they see (most of the time it is Mommy), hit, kick, bite and spit. On many occasions, this happens before they are two years old and the parents haven’t a clue of what is happening. Some parents, not knowing what to do, act aggressively toward the child, in response, thinking the child will be scared and “straighten up.” This is a critical age to “do the right thing” with them.  

Before the age of two, their brain is not yet developed enough for logic and reasoning ability. At this age, they learn solely by observation. This is why your body language and tone of voice is so important to them. Sincere hugs and soft loving words with direct eye contact work wonders. When I use the term “sincere hugs,” I am talking about hugging not only your physical child, but that spirit within; that divine spirit within that brought that child to you; that spirit within that is unique only to your child; that spirit within that is the blueprint for your child’s future; that spirit within that is your REAL child; their real essence. THOSE hugs, when done consistently will be felt and remembered for the rest of your child’s life.   

Your children depend on you not just for the basic needs you provide, but for the emotional support, guidance and parameters you set. Remember, your children come here as a blank slate, not knowing what is healthy or not, what is offensive or not, what is safe is safe or not, what goes against your standards you have set or not, what is OK or not. YOU have to set the tone by your consistent example and guidance, letting them know where their parameters are. They will resist you many times because those standards you have established only register with them after repetition over time. After a while (I know this period will be very frustrating) they will get it and comply with your standards. As their reasoning ability improves, they will understand why you have those established standards.

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Together we can transform your children from being angry, bullying, moody or too quiet to happy, compassionate, loving children. YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassionate parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”


]]>Wed, 05 Jun 2019 15:39:43 GMThttp://cloudsofabundance.com/blog/identifying-and-managing-emotions-part-4
SIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE FRUSTRATION AND FEELINGS OF FAILURE THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW


​When I read stories about Personal Development Masters, and they are discussing the topic of managing emotions, they all agree on using meditation as a daily tool. Progressive Relaxation is another calming tool that is universally used (I’ll describe this one below). In meditation, you are concentrating on one idea or entity as you also give attention to your heartbeat, and your breathing. Meditation is a great way to start your day, to reboot, to clear your mind of yesterday’s issues, to start the new day with a blank slate so you can add joy and fun to today’s to-do list.  

There are so many benefits to correct breathing. When you practice deep breathing (Diaphragmatic Breathing Style, for ex.), you are putting more oxygen into your system, which helps you in thinking more clearly, relaxing and letting go of stress, relaxing your heart, thus lowering your blood pressure. When you really get this breathing method under your belt, you can use it in situations where you find yourself stressed. It might be one of those meetings, where the boss is acting like a nonhuman, it might be in school, dealing with peer pressure, in a relationship issue or just internal “stuff” going on. As soon as you know stress is right around corner with your name on it, you can go into action. This is the time to go inward, breathe deep and exhale slowly, keeping a peaceful affirmation in mind such as - “All is well in my world. Everyone around me is celebrating my existence and is supportive in all my endeavors. I am loved.” When you breathe in this manner, you are shifting the focus in your brain.
 
THE BRAIN - LIMBIC SECTION
When you are stressed and negativity becomes the dominant factor in how you are going to think and act, you are using the limbic part, or the primitive part of the brain. The more specific, responsible part there is called the Amygdala. It is this amygdala that emotionally hijacks the brain and this is where psychotic rage originates. There is no rationality being done in that area. Emotionality rules in this space. Violent reactions and mindless, enraging behavior originates in this part of the brain. This is why it is important, as your children mature, to help them use their reasoning abilities as much as you can. As they are THINKING more instead of REACTING more, their emotional muscles will develop more and they will be operating from the pre-frontal cortex instead of the Amygdala.
 
NEOCORTEX
When you can breathe deeply, the relaxing that follows brings your thinking to the neocortex part of the brain, where rational thought takes place. Within the neocortex system there is the frontal lobe and within that system, in the front part, is the prefrontal lobes. In the prefrontal lobes, there are the right side and the left side. One of the duties of the left lobe is to act as a neural thermostat, regulating unpleasant emotions. The right prefrontal lobe harbors the negative emotions while the left one keeps them in check.

 “The left prefrontal lobe, in short, seems to be a part of a neural circuit that can switch off, or at least dampen down, all but the strongest negative surges of emotion. If the amygdala often acts as an emergency trigger, the left prefrontal lobe appears to be part of the brain’s ‘off’ switch for disturbing emotion: the amygdala proposes, the prefrontal lobe disposes.” - Daniel Goleman, ‘Emotional Intelligence.’

You can help your children tremendously with this information.

BEING CONSCIOUS
Catching yourself before that “blinding rage” takes control is critical, because when that emotion is present, most times you are unable to think, to breathe or do mathematical problems, or anything. You are controlled at that point by your blind emotions and that is when psychotic episodes can happen, when the person assaults, rapes, fights or even kills someone without consciously being aware of his/her actions. This is why you must be consciously aware of your mind-sets, feelings and your body parts. Just think what happens when you share this information with your children. They will THEN know why they acted or act the way that they do or did.  
 
PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE RELAXATION
Progressive Muscle Relaxation originated from the work of Dr. Edmund Jacobson, who published the book Progressive Relaxation in 1938. It is through this process that we can become acutely aware of our various muscles, how they feel when they are in a peaceful, relaxed mode and how they feel when they are in a stress mode. According to his theory, the muscles actually record anxiety-provoking thoughts and events. A build-up of muscle tension then increases the actual feelings of anxiety. So, Dr. Jacobson deduced that the opposite is also true: if the muscles relax, then physiological tension is reduced, and in turn anxiety is decreased. The point here is to help you and your children find ways to relax, reducing tension and empowering your children to think before they act on their triggered emotions. The progressive relaxation technique consists of tensing and relaxing major muscle groups while paying close attention to the sensations in each part of the body. I call this establishing “muscle memory.” You simply tense a particular muscle group for five seconds and then release it. This kind of exercise makes you more connected or in-tune with that particular body part. When you are more sensitized to your various body parts, you will notice more readily when subtle changes occur. When the beginning of stress starts to affect you, you will notice the change and thus be ready for a detouring plan for evading this stress bug. Catching the stress at this beginning stage prevents any escalation and possible damage internally and externally.   
 
Together we can transform your children from being angry, bullying, moody or too quiet to happy, compassionate, loving children. YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassionate parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”]]>Fri, 19 Apr 2019 21:56:12 GMThttp://cloudsofabundance.com/blog/identifying-and-managing-emotions-part-4-nazim-rashidSIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE FRUSTRATION AND FEELINGS OF FAILURE THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW


Your inner child is not going to allow you to disrespect it for long. This is very important as you teach your children to honor their feelings. Your inner child will strike back and you will feel its wrath in one form or another. You have to honor and respect your inner child in order to have a truly peaceful, balanced, loving and happy life. You must also guard your soul, or inner child, from the attacks of others. You have to be your inner child’s best friend just like your children need to be on good terms with their own inner child.
​

• EMOTIONAL EFFECTS ON THE BODY

 
It is important to know how your body is affected when various emotions are experienced.
 
RAGE, for example, affects the heart and circulation as the face reddens or becomes purple, with the veins on the forehead and neck become distended.
 
JOY, when intense, leads to various purposeless (sometimes) movements like dancing, clapping and loud laughter.
 
FEAR and distress activate the limbic system at the base of our brains. This shuts off the cerebral cortex where creativity and problem-solving live. This is why your children cannot process their situation intelligently at this level.

This is how you can abort the feeling of rage and hostility, by consciously shifting your focus from the object of your anger or stress to a problem-solving mode. Right when you feel the stress of anger beginning, start thinking about math equations, computations or multiplication tables. When you do this, you are making a brain shift, from the limbic system at the brain base to the cerebral cortex, which is at the top toward the front part of the brain. You can’t remain angry when you are in a problem-solving mode. You can’t even be angry and solve problems at the same time. The brain won’t allow you to do that. What a tremendous lesson for you AND your children. 

Being in tune with your separate body parts is very important. When you are in a very calm state, physically and emotionally, your body is at a level zero on the stress gauge. This level is considered your “baseline,” where you can use as a measurement to judge every other emotional and stressful experience. You should know at any given time how your body parts are doing. Just imagine security cameras focused on your individual body parts and you are in your security booth constantly looking at the screens making sure that there is no disturbance anywhere. As soon as any change is detected, you go right into action to prevent any further disturbances, thus cutting off the possibilities of an escalated stress level, and its accompanying package of side effects. What a great learning tool for you and your children. 

There are plenty of symptoms of pre-stress conditions (antecedents) that should alert you that impending doom is lurking if something is not done soon. Some of the most common pre-stress and stress symptoms are:

• Sweating
• Upset stomach
• Muscles feeling tense
• Feeling like crying
• Fast breathing
• Shaky hands
• Cold hands
• Shaky legs
• Heart pounding and beating fast
• Tight feelings in your chest
• An overwhelming sense of worry
• Dry mouth

• Inability to sit still
  

You AND your children need to know this

When you notice the beginning of any of these changes in your body, it would be wise on your part to intervene right away. Do something to divert your attention away from the source of the stress. Having different calming techniques available for your use anytime is invaluable as you can choose which technique would be appropriate for your situation. Remember my earlier reference to the Antecedents; what comes before the Behavior, which comes before the Consequences? The ABC? This is how it is done. When your children learn this valuable technique, you won’t and they won’t go through many episodes where they react before they think with negative consequences following.  
 

Together we can transform your children from being angry, bullying, moody or too quiet to happy, compassionate, loving children. YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassionate parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”

]]>Mon, 25 Mar 2019 14:50:17 GMThttp://cloudsofabundance.com/blog/identifying-and-managing-emotions-part-3-nazim-rashidSIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE FRUSTRATION AND FEELINGS OF FAILURE THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW


​Emotional Intelligence includes the skills, habits and understanding, which shapes your thoughts, feelings and actions in your relationship with yourself and with others. It involves the ability to:
 

• Perceive accurately
• Appraise and express emotion
• Access and generate feelings when they facilitate thought
• Regulate emotions to promote emotional and intellectual growth

 
It is also the capacity for:
 
• Recognizing your own feelings and those of others
• Motivating others
• Managing emotions well in yourself and in your relationships
 
You have to identify your emotions and feelings first and then help your children identify theirs. This is so important for your children to start recognizing and acknowledging their feelings at the earliest age possible. You as healthy, conscious parents, should be introducing the various feelings and emotions as early as possible, so your children can know and differentiate their feelings. They need to know consciously what horror feels like internally as opposed to feeling scared. Be very basic with this one as it is vital to get through to them in this area.  For example, at the age of five, you can write the word horror in big letters on a white/black board or big construction paper; then you can demonstrate the word, by putting on either a monster movie or some other scary one or act out a scary scene so the child will get the idea. They will know afterwards that the horror feeling came when they viewed something that was scary, but didn’t affect them personally, whereas the scary feeling came when they were personally affected. Now your five-year-old has internalized the difference between scary and horror. They now have added a new word into their vocabulary. The more your child can clearly identify their emotions and feelings, the clearer their problem will be to you. The child will now know how to address what they are going through. You can’t produce a solution to a problem when you can’t identify the problem. 

Here are some examples of emotions and feelings that you and your children should know how to identify when they appear in your lives. In the second column you will find opposing positive energy that you need, to retrieve your balance and restore peace:
 
(-)                    (+)
• Sadness -   Happiness
• Anger -        Peaceful
• Fear -           Confident
• Guilt -           Innocent
• Abandoned - Cherished
• Hurt -           Comforted
• Rage -         Calm
• Arrogant -    Humble
• Awful -         Wonderful
• Blaming -     Forgiving
 
Here are some more examples of emotions and feelings that you and your children should know how to identify when they appear in your lives. Again, you will find in the second column, opposing positive energy that you need, to retrieve your balance and restore peace:

(-)                    (+)
• Burdened    - Relieved
• Cheap          - Valuable
• Clumsy        - Coordinated
• Competitive - Cooperative
• Compulsive - Rational
• Condemning - Forgiving
• Defensive   - Assertive
• Defeated     - Victorious
• Desolate      - Joyful
• Detached    - Connected
• Drained       - Invigorated
• Embarrassed - Confident
• Failure         – Successful

When you and your children neglect your feelings, what you are really doing is disrespecting and dishonoring your own soul, your inner child. When you do this, believe me, you are going to pay dearly sooner or later. This is so important to understand about the moody symptoms your child might be experiencing.  It might be in the form of:

• Depression
• Unexplainable moodiness
• Quick temperaments
• Feelings of uneasiness
• Discontent
• Feelings of unfinished emotional business in the past that has created an emotional block, preventing you from proceeding to enjoy life fully

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Together we can transform your children from being angry, bullying, moody or too quiet to happy, compassionate, loving children. YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassionate parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”

]]>Sat, 02 Mar 2019 15:19:49 GMThttp://cloudsofabundance.com/blog/identifying-and-managing-emotions-part-2-nazim-rashidSIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE FRUSTRATION AND FEELINGS OF FAILURE THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW
 
 
Emotions originate from exposure to specific situations. The nature and the intensity of the emotion are usually related to cognitive activity in the form of the perception of the situation. That thought process or perception results in the experience and or the expression of a related feeling. Emotion is an “umbrella” term which includes the situation, the interpretation and perception of the situation and the response or feeling related to the perception of the situation. Feelings are more conscious, and are the response part of the emotion. Feelings are a learned response in the culture in which we grew up. Emotions are our responses to the world around us and they are created by the combination of our thoughts, feelings and actions. We create our own emotions. Our responses are shaped by our thoughts -by what we tell ourselves. This information can help your older children better understand themselves and manage their behavior in a more healthy fashion.  
 
As you, and your children, clarify your understanding of your beliefs and patterns, you will learn that you are actually choosing your own life. You, and your children are the co-creators of your lives, consciously or unconsciously. It is mostly an unconscious creation. You create your dominant vibration. Your family members are the molders of their lives and it is your family members that have to take responsibility for the outcome of their lives and nobody else. Now, there is no more blaming your parents, teachers, other family members, peers, and media influence for the maladies and tragedies in your life. The cards are in your hands. You pick the card that you want. You drive on the road of your pleasure and you each create the path of your own desires. This is an excellent lesson for your children. 
 
Emotions are the whole experience. It is what comes before the feeling. Here are some examples:
 

• The feeling is depression; the emotion is sadness or anger.
• The feeling is anger and rage; the emotion is fear of abandonment and loneliness

 
For some kids, when you ask them, “How did that feel?” -their answer is, “That feels like the time when I got lost in the mall.” That is “their” emotion response. You can’t capture that emotion by saying, “I was really scared, which is simply a “feeling” response. That feeling and that situation are all wrapped up together. The clearer you can get with your children, the clearer they will be able to handle their feelings and subsequent behavior.
 
 
“Emotional Intelligence: Being able to motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustrations; to control impulse and delay gratification; to regulate one’s moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think; to empathize and to hope.” - Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence
 
It is vitally important to teach your children to be emotionally intelligent, so they will know how to respond instead of just reacting, to think before they do, to know themselves and their emotional perimeters. These tips are applied to YOU first, demonstrated by you first, and THEN taught to your little ones. Emotional intelligence (EQ) means to:

- Integrate emotions and awareness
- Align feelings and reason
- Direct actions with vision to solve problems
- Resolve conflicts
- Creatively enhance inter and intra personal relationships.

It is the combination of:
​
- Knowing yourself
- Choosing for yourself
- Giving of yourself.
 
 
Together we can transform your children from being angry, bullying, moody or too quiet to happy, compassionate, loving children. YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassionate parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”
]]>Wed, 14 Nov 2018 16:11:38 GMThttp://cloudsofabundance.com/blog/identifying-and-managing-emotions-part-1-nazim-rashidSIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE FRUSTRATION AND FEELINGS OF FAILURE THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW


​Your children are affected by so many influences which are counter to what you are modeling in your home. Your children are inundated with messages that sanction: - Domestic violence - Societal violence - Wholesale disrespect toward everyone (women, seniors, self and all authority figures) - Illicit drug use - Criminal lifestyles - Sexual promiscuity – Racism - Non-recognition of healthy family values. Being products of their environment, children not only reflect what’s around them, they accept those influences as normal to the point of actually being their environment. Pretty scary, huh?  

Many parents who have gone through and caused some pain in their lives, and they now want a different direction for themselves and their offspring. They are looking for new tools. Their old tools will only provide what they have been receiving, which is more hurt, misery, pain, failed relationships and faulty parenting styles. Now after going through methods, following models from their past, that did not give them satisfactory results, they are ready to receive new information and different parenting models. Let’s talk about your emotions and how you can manage them a little more efficiently.

Do your children “make” you so angry that you say or do things you regret later? (You know no one can “make” you angry. You CHOSE, either consciously or unconsciously, to become angry) Are you an impulsive person? Do you “fly off the handle” and they feel sorry afterwards, but you do it again? Your children come into this world completely innocent and naïve. Let’s look at how you can make other choices when your buttons are pushed. Before anger sets in, you always get a sign, so what you have to do is learn how to set up mental detour signs to redirect the oncoming negativity so your peace is not disturbed.  

Your children are precious gifts from God and deserve the very best treatments, so if you have anger issues it is best if you find out how to identify the antecedents and make a conscious change THEN, before you act impulsively. You start by noticing any kind of change starting to occur: - Sweating palms - Heart rate increasing - Breathing rhythm starting to change - Hair starting to tingle - Nerves in the spine getting agitated - Jaw tightening - Fists clenching. Every thought you think and every word you speak sends messages into the universe creating energy which comes back to help you or to hurt you. So, you have to ask yourself - “What are you sending out there?” 

You protect your peaceful state by being guardians over your thoughts. When a particular thought starts going astray, you are to pull it back or immediately replace it with a good and loving thought. When you analyze your faulty behavior, you start by examining the A, B, C of the situation. A stands for Antecedent; what came before; where the problem originated; B stands for the actual Behavior; what we actually witnessed, and C stands for Consequences; what happened as a result of the behavior? This naturally can be used with your children when they need to have your intervention behind their adverse behavior.   
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Too many times when adults intervene in escalating arguments or fighting, they don’t go far enough when they ask the youth - “What happened here and who started it?” What they get in these, sometimes, public settings where other youth are present, is a response that the trouble-making youth is comfortable in verbalizing. He or she doesn’t feel safe talking about what the real antecedent is, unless the adult knows how to ask the right questions in the right, safe environment. The perpetrator might say, “He looked at me funny.” If this was your son or daughter, you can pull them aside and get the “real deal,” away from the public and away from the attention of their peers. After the fight and you have your son by himself, you ask him, “Ok, happened?” He says, “That kid, Jerry, gave me a dirty look, so I let him have it.” You, being the wise parent, says, “Now, what is really going on with you (with the special look)? I’m talking about what is going on inside of you right now?” You want to get to the antecedent so you know how to help him. He tells you that is angry, came to school angry because he misses his father. (The son hates that his parents divorced and the biological father lives somewhere else). When you asked him how is body felt going to school, he said his heart was racing and he couldn’t concentrate in his classes. Now you know what the antecedent is; heart racing from his anger re: his father’s absence.

You will tell your son that whenever he feels his heart racing, he needs to do something right then and there before the next stage of unmanaged behavior begins. He can ask for help. He can start deep breathing exercises. He can do some physical exercises. When your son knows that he can manage his behavior, he feels empowered. You can ask him to talk about his feelings re: his father and see if something can be done to make him feel a little better. These are all antecedents that he should know and memorize: - Sweating palms - Heart rate increasing - Breathing rhythm starting to change - Hair starting to tingle - Nerves in the spine getting agitated - Jaw tightening - Fists clenching.

Every behavior has a feeling attached to it and some kind of emotional base precedes it. Your son had anger as his feeling at school, and abandonment by his father as his emotion. The main problem I have seen with parents is that they are not that motivated or interested enough in the healthy emotional development of their children to take this kind of time to ensure that their child has all the necessary tools they need to have. There are also other parents who don’t have any idea of what I am talking about and want to keep things “just the way they are.” These necessary tools will give them a balanced, developed, intelligent, emotional consciousness
 
Together we can transform your children from being angry, bullying, moody or too quiet to happy, compassionate, loving children. YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassionate parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”]]>Tue, 16 Oct 2018 15:06:39 GMThttp://cloudsofabundance.com/blog/happiness-nazim-rashidSIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE FRUSTRATION AND FEELINGS OF FAILURE THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW


​Do you show your happiness when you are around your children? When you see them through the window as they are coming in, do you smile with the anticipation of hugging them? Do you feel light when you are reading or telling them a bedtime story? Do you have happy dreams about them? When you go grocery shopping together, do you smile a lot as they are enjoying riding in the basket and being over stimulated with all the touching choices they see? When you are cooking and they come in the kitchen with a million questions or complaints about their siblings, do you smile and gently tell them that you will attend to their agenda when you are done in the kitchen? OR are you on some other page?  

What made you happy this week? Who did you see that was happy this week? Happiness is the understanding that you are connected to and are a major part of the flow of life. And it is this understanding that says that as you take an active part in the “flowing process” you will get not only rewarded, but a greater, much deeper state of happiness within. These are great questions to ask of your little ones. The more you mention happiness to them, the more they think about happiness and then HAPPINESS becomes a major vibration in their lives. 

In true happiness, life is highly regarded, honored, loved, and appreciated on all levels and truly treasured as God’s gift to the world. You are excited about life and the unending possibilities that are always surrounding you. You are eternally grateful for your five senses as they are continually reminding you of life’s greatness. You tune your ears to hear the sound of nature, to appreciate and be entertained by the songs of birds, to hear the sound of water as it is flowing down the stream or as its waves are lapping against the beach. You also appreciate hearing your own heartbeat and the heartbeat of others. As your children see you enjoying nature, they will start appreciating what is in their environment. 
​
When I see babies in the shopping cart smiling and laughing I say to myself, “the parents are doing something right.” And when I see babies crying and the parent is ignoring them and wearing an angry frown as they are shopping, I feel sorry for the little one. I see more of the latter than the former. The smiley babies are very friendly as they look around to see who wants to connect with them with a smile and a wave. Smiling, playing games, laughing and having regular fun with your babies helps build their self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence and optimism. Have you seen the Laughing Elmo? What a great gift. Laughing is a very high vibration and contributes to a high immune system. You should have at least one big belly laugh daily.
 
Together we can transform your children from being angry, bullying, moody or too quiet to happy, compassionate, loving children. YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassionate parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”

]]>Sat, 15 Sep 2018 22:03:10 GMThttp://cloudsofabundance.com/blog/desire-motivation-with-nazim-rashidSIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE FRUSTRATION AND FEELINGS OF FAILURE THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW


Desire motivation, unlike fear motivation, drives you toward your goal of being a better, more compassionate, empathic parent. Fear motivation keeps you fixed on past trauma or past conditioning. Fear brings on anxiety, thoughts fixed on the negative past, panic and despair. Your childhood was dysfunctional with your mother micromanaging your life and not allowing free expression from you. Fear of her punishments kept you hiding within yourself. Now as a parent yourself, you want to do the best and be the best for your children and you call yourself motivated to do just that. BUT the motivation is Fear Based instead of Desire Based.
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You keep hearing your mother’s stern parenting style and Fear prevents you from being your true, wonderful self. As you are parenting your child, in your subconscious, you hear the negative dialogue, “You better do as I say or else.” The fear vibration brings on anxiety and you saying subconsciously, “I’ll show You how it is supposed to be done.” As you interact with your children, the conflicting dialogue gets in the way of you really giving your best. As you do something positive, like asking your daughter to explain what fun she had in school today, and you sit there wanting to support her, that dialogue comes up telling you that you shouldn’t let your child speak openly.  You are trying to smile and join your daughter in her happy time, but you can’t, due to that nagging voice telling you that you are wrong. You are operating from a Fear Motivation. Fear Motivation is like you looking at the rear-view mirror leaving your problems once and for all. Instead of looking forward to your new adventures, you are looking angrily at the past, telling yourself that you are finally done with all that negativity. Desire Motivation keeps you focused straight ahead toward your goal. This is why you, as the healthy, compassionate parent that you are, will be Desire Motivated. You need a new paradigm and this is why you are tuning in to this blog.
 
When you change your life based on fear motivation, you are doomed to repeat your mistakes. Desire motivation, unlike fear motivation, drives you toward your goal of being a better, more productive parent. When you are making the transition from the old paradigm to the new one, you want to look at your old mindset from the Observer point of view. You must know what you are detoxing from your system. Looking honestly looked at your situation you will probably find these negative flaws lurking around: - Mistakes - Bad choices - Insecurities - Unhealthy training - Poor example from your mother - Poor examples in your earlier environment.
 
Some parents accepted and internalized negative standards from their family and peers as a child. They also accepted their present condition which has been damaged by it all. This whole time finding out that the child within is crying and begging for needed attention. Not liking how they are feeling, they finally said to themselves that they: - Want better - Need better - Are deserving of better - Are now claiming better - Will have nothing but better in their life from this moment on. These parents are now honoring and protecting their soul and that child within. Their new higher standards are uncompromisable. They are now UNSTOPPABLE. This is the example of desire motivation. Their eyes are keenly fixed toward their goal and not on their past. They know exactly where they are going and have no thoughts of retreating. 
 
Desire motivation puts optimism into your dominant thought (High Vibration) process. This tunes you into the OPTIMIST CHANNEL, thus inclining your thoughts toward optimism as a natural part of your thinking and behaving. Since here you are more sensitive to optimistic possibilities, you tend to see them everywhere and you inspire people around you with your positive behavior. There is a burning inner drive that propels you toward being the very best parent possible. It also triggers any memories of successes in your past and excites the need to replay these and to create more winning experiences. This is an important disposition to have as a healthy, compassionate, empathic parent.
 
Every day and even different parts of the day have to be spent in checking yourself to see if your thoughts, actions, self-talk and modeling are on your child-centered path. This is what you have to internalize in order to be that child-centered parent: - Drive - Persistence - Patience - Consistency - Faith – Deeds.  All these items reflect your new disposition

Together we can transform your children from being angry, bullying, moody or too quiet to happy, compassionate, loving children. YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassionate parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”
 

 ]]>Sat, 25 Aug 2018 15:28:57 GMThttp://cloudsofabundance.com/blog/love-unconditionally-nazim-rashid
SIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE FRUSTRATION AND FEELINGS OF FAILURE THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW


Learning how to love unconditionally is definitely a process that takes some understanding. There is a spirit of anger and hate and a spirit of love that needs explanation. You, as the wonderful parent that you are, have to first understand that God’s Spirit is in everyone, including your sometimes, nerve-wrecking bundle of joy. Every person, young and old, that you see, regardless of their presentations, has the spirit of God within and it is this spirit that you should love, because where God is, your love should be, as you love where God is.  And where is God not? God is everywhere, so it is wise to look for the good, which is the same as looking for God, in everything. Even when we don’t see any trace of God in some people (lol), know that God is there anyway. So, now you understand what Love Unconditionally means, right? It doesn’t mean to love BEHAVIOR unconditionally, but to love God which is always within, unconditionally. It is a SPIRITUAL CONCEPT. When you love your child unconditionally, you are loving that divine spirit unconditionally, not their adverse behavior. When their behavior earns restrictions/punishments, then restrictions/punishments are given.   

You don’t “let them slide” from earned admonishments because you “love” them. Your child might think that way, but you have to remind them that the love you have for them is for the special loving spirit within them, and NOT when they are acting in misalignment of that special loving spirit. You have to say this repeatedly because your child might think that because you “love” them, they can act any way they want. When your children get a little older into their teens, they might think they can do illegal activity like drugs or petty theft and get away with it. When they get caught and arrested, they automatically assume that you are going to bail them out and take them home, because you “LOVE” them.  When you don’t bail them out and make them sit in jail for a while to think about what they have done, they feel betrayed by you. “I thought she loved me,” they will say. They never understood “love unconditionally” to be a “spiritual concept” and not a “behavior concept.” You can love your child and have them arrested, if need be. You stay in love with the healthy, divine spirit within and when they act in alignment of THAT spirit, by all means the demonstration of love is seen. No Co-Dependency here. The child and their behavioral choices have nothing to do with God being present within them and should have nothing to do with our love for that spirit. You have to separate the Spirit within them from the behavior of the child you are observing.
 
A mother can have children who are rebellious, contrary, disobedient, and just plain nerve wrecking. Is that mother supposed to hate or have uncontrolled anger directed toward them? The practical, loving mother will let her understanding and love dominate her emotions, realizing that children have their own issues at different stages of their development and that they need sometimes a firmer, stricter environment to help them control themselves, which will help them re-channel some of that high energy. Knowing that God is always in her child keeps her focused on being practical and intelligent, even when her child displays aversive behavior.

Another example is that of a single mother. This mother had four children and divorced their father when the children were still very young. The children loved their father, even though he was abusive, very controlling to their mother and was unfaithful. After ten years of this abuse and enabling, the wife finally went through the divorce procedure. The children started to develop anger toward the mother and tried to sabotage the divorce by lying to the social workers, in order for the parents to stay together. The divorce was finalized and the anger of the children, now in their early adulthood, increased. The children, now on their own, barely speak to the mother and have dysfunctional, enabling families of their own. The mother has always wanted nothing more than to have a loving family and tight bonds between everyone, but there was nothing but contention when they spoke to her.

What disposition is this mother supposed to have? What do you think?
What disposition is this mother supposed to have? Look at these choices:

1. To move on with her life now, especially since she is not responsible for them anymore?
2. To completely let go of her adult children, and not let their negativity or their presence be in her life       or mind?
3. To let go of the negative emotions she is carrying from them, (knowing that those emotions do not         belong to her), love the God spirit within them, holding on dearly to that part of them and not
     letting them physically bring their negative spirit around her?
4. To hold on to them completely the way they are, allowing their unresolved anger to burden her             emotionally, calling this “loving my kids?”   
 
If you guessed number #3, you are correct. By respecting yourself, you are not going to allow anyone to disrespect you or your spirit. This is honoring the God spirit within you. You can love them from a distance if necessary and be perfectly fine with that. When number #4 is chosen, the spirit of addiction and co-dependency is very close by. With that decision you have depression, frustration, sadness, a void in your heart, and a vacuum in your soul. This is when the spirit of addiction and co-dependency pays you a visit and says, “Don’t worry, I’m here now to take care of you. Just relax and roll up your sleeve. It’s going to be all right.”  


Isn’t it time to go from feeling frustrated, lost, overwhelmed and the feeling of failure to feeling confident, calm, relieved and successful?  
Together we can transform your children from being angry, bullying, moody or too quiet to happy, compassionate, loving children. YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassionate parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”

​]]>Thu, 26 Jul 2018 05:09:02 GMThttp://cloudsofabundance.com/blog/healthyunhealthy-attachments-part-4 
SIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE FRUSTRATION AND FEELINGS OF FAILURE THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW


BEING PHONY –
 
You are not being honest with yourself when you are in your phony, fake, conning, false, pretentious mode (Mrs. Worthington example from part 3). With this personality you have this idea that you have to present yourself in a certain way, and just being your natural self doesn’t seem to be good enough. This a clear example of having a low self-esteem and self-image. The pretentiousness is a cover you choose to use because you don’t like how you really feel about yourself and you don’t like what you see when you look into the mirror. Your children wonder why you are acting like that and start thinking that pretentiousness is an OK way to be.  
 
BEING YOUR TRUE AND HEALTHY SELF
 
Practicing honesty and accepting to be child-centered with its responsibilities is a major step from a Mrs. Worthington to a Mrs. Wonderful. It feels good deep within when you are true to your higher self. This new feeling converts your whole world into a completely different world. You attract circumstances, people and events that never were attracted to you before. Now that your Self has changed, your concept of Self has changed, and you can now say that you like being yourself. When you love you, it is easy to love your children for the divine spirit that is within them. When it is obvious that you are loving who you are, think how your children will feel about themselves.  
 
RESENTMENTS

Parents, do you have resentments from your past that you brought into your marriage AND your parenting? I know you have the very best of intentions, and would never consciously hurt your child, But, have you ever displayed behavior with your child that you weren’t proud of later? Did your child “trigger” memories of someone in your past that are a part of your unreconciled negative memories? Do they remind you of someone you just don’t like? Does their normal disposition bother you for some reason? Have you ever said in your mind, “I don’t know why I don’t like my kid?” You MUST address this serious concern. 

There is a lot of talk about unconditionally loving your children but perhaps not enough about how important it is to LIKE them. As your little angels grow and test boundaries and stretch your patience, it can become all too easy to fall into the insidious trap of looking at that child through a negative lens. Because many parents only see what it is they are looking for, they begin to only see the testing, the misbehavior, the endless questions, the curiosities that get on your last nerve and the child who just will not go to sleep. Then ever so slowly, without us mindfully realizing what is occurring, we begin to feel a pang of resentment – of dislike. At this point, it becomes very difficult to notice the good, to see beyond the faults into the heart of that child which beats with goodness, love and purpose. Resentment is blinding.  While it's true that your children need your love to thrive, what many parents swept under the rug is that they need you to LIKE them too. They need you to SEE them, see who they are, and to like what it is that you see, because this ultimately is how they come to see themselves. Therefore, it's essential to the well-being of your children and the peace within your homes that you learn to see them through a positive lens, even through times of emotional challenges. 
 
 
Isn’t it time to go from feeling frustrated, lost, overwhelmed and the feeling of failure to feeling confident, calm, relieved and successful?  
Together we can transform your children from being angry, bullying, moody or too quiet to happy, compassionate, loving children. YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassionate parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”]]>