I know you want to be the very best parent and provide what maybe you didn’t have as a child, but do you know how to be that “best parent” when you never saw “that” in your experience? You are a creature of your environment and fruit from the tree of your origin, so it is very important to investigate what that “root” is all about and see if it is something you want to emulate or delete from your present probabilities.
In wanting the very best for your children, it only makes sense to find out what your children need to have and see if that is in you to give or is it something you have to find outside of your experience. Being the “child-centered”parent I know you want to be, you might need to connect with new parenting models than the ones you are familiar with in your past. When you try to give something that is not in you to give, you only provide temporary provision. You tend to always go back to what is familiar, what was told to you and what the family custom of parenting was. If you didn’t have a compassionate, empathic mother, you need to find one that is and model after her. Many young mothers say, “I’ll be that compassionate, attentive mother that my mother was not and then everything will be fine.” The test always comes when stress and challenges come your way. It is easy to be wonderful, giving and attentive when life is going smoothly. It is when “Murphy” (from Murphy’s Law) pays you a visit that you forget all about being “Miss Wonderful.” God says in scripture that He will give guidance to those who seek guidance. You have to seek out those mothers who consistently validate, console, stimulate their children to their inherent greatness, provide moral guidance and establish practical perimeters for their little angels to follow in order for them to become loving producers for the world. They’re really are plenty to choose from even though you might think otherwise. You have to fill the void one way or another.
In order for you to be the Great Validator, you have to have models to provide that kind of reference. You can start by producing this kind of model through your imagination, or what I call in my book Reconnected, your “Virtual Reality.” Create this “Mother” and give her all the qualities you know are necessary that your child needs to have. Hold that image firmly in your mind. Start having experiences, relationships and conversations with her and really feel it to your core so it is real to you. Call her by a name of your choice and personify this created reality. You CAN do this and when you do, you will have the Mother Model that you have always wanted and one that will be there for you as you undertake your mothering role. Read books and articles about compassionate parenting and then transfer those traits to your new “Mother.”
As you are doing this you will see the new image in the mirror and proudly say out loud “Yes, I am the Great Validator.”
In wanting the very best for your children, it only makes sense to find out what your children need to have and see if that is in you to give or is it something you have to find outside of your experience. Being the “child-centered”parent I know you want to be, you might need to connect with new parenting models than the ones you are familiar with in your past. When you try to give something that is not in you to give, you only provide temporary provision. You tend to always go back to what is familiar, what was told to you and what the family custom of parenting was. If you didn’t have a compassionate, empathic mother, you need to find one that is and model after her. Many young mothers say, “I’ll be that compassionate, attentive mother that my mother was not and then everything will be fine.” The test always comes when stress and challenges come your way. It is easy to be wonderful, giving and attentive when life is going smoothly. It is when “Murphy” (from Murphy’s Law) pays you a visit that you forget all about being “Miss Wonderful.” God says in scripture that He will give guidance to those who seek guidance. You have to seek out those mothers who consistently validate, console, stimulate their children to their inherent greatness, provide moral guidance and establish practical perimeters for their little angels to follow in order for them to become loving producers for the world. They’re really are plenty to choose from even though you might think otherwise. You have to fill the void one way or another.
In order for you to be the Great Validator, you have to have models to provide that kind of reference. You can start by producing this kind of model through your imagination, or what I call in my book Reconnected, your “Virtual Reality.” Create this “Mother” and give her all the qualities you know are necessary that your child needs to have. Hold that image firmly in your mind. Start having experiences, relationships and conversations with her and really feel it to your core so it is real to you. Call her by a name of your choice and personify this created reality. You CAN do this and when you do, you will have the Mother Model that you have always wanted and one that will be there for you as you undertake your mothering role. Read books and articles about compassionate parenting and then transfer those traits to your new “Mother.”
As you are doing this you will see the new image in the mirror and proudly say out loud “Yes, I am the Great Validator.”
RSS Feed