How your children see themselves is what they become. The need for a healthy self-image is crucial for the balanced, emotionally intelligent, future adult. The self-image determines how the young child will develop. The self-image is like a thermostat set in the house for 78 degrees. When the house gets cooler than 78, the heater comes on until the temperature is 78. When the temperature gets above 78, the air conditioner comes on to bring the temperature down to 78. The self-image they set for themselves, consciously or unconsciously, is how they are going to be, despite external conditions. They can rise or fall no further than their self-image.
Here’s a quote from my mentor Dr. Nathaniel Branden on Self-Image. Parents, it is very important that you tune into what self-image is and why it is important for your children to have the best, healthiest, productive self-image they can imagine:
“Self-image or concept includes self-esteem, but it is broader. It concerns my overall perception of my traits, abilities, limitations, shortcomings and strengths. So, self-concept has self-esteem as the evaluative component, but self-concept includes a great deal more-like what is appropriate to me, what I am able to do or not do, what my strengths are and what my limitations are.” -Dr. Branden
If your child has a high self-image of themselves being a great scientist, for example, they are going to be more attentive in their science class. They are going to do well on their tests. They are going to ask intelligent questions which will demonstrate their genuine interests. When they experience some defeat along the way, they will shrug it off and forge on. When they graduate and select a place of employment in which to show their new skills, they walk with confidence and self-assurance. The prospective employer notices this spirit and they are hired. This feedback only raises their confidence level and affirms the self-image that they always envisioned for themselves. You as the supporting parent that you are, must be the cheerleader of this self-image.
Parents, pay close attention: The same principle applies to a person with a low self-image. They never expect much good to come to them and they get exactly that. The Law of Attraction applies right here. They are in the same science class only because their father was a good in science and being in this class will please him. They miss many main points in the class because they were not attentive enough. Your child kind of likes the class, but they don’t see themselves doing well as a scientist or anything else in life. When they get a bad grade, they get reassurance that they don’t measure up with the rest of the class and that, in their mind, they are a loser, which complies with their internal image. They get caught up in the downward spiral of misery and disappointments.
How do your children become successful in school, at acquiring healthy friends, attaining their goals or loving and living life? They must have an internal vision of themselves that reflects their higher self; who they associate with and how life responds to them. There is a way and this is very necessary for your children to know, really accept, and internalize. You are going to tell and show them that High Self-Esteem people are oriented toward challenge and opportunity and Low Self-Esteem people are oriented toward safety and security. You can encourage him or her to think about activities that present challenges and opportunities as they get older. Use some of your own life experiences as examples. This will contribute to them having a high self-image.
“When you see a thing clearly in your mind, your creative ‘success mechanism’ within you takes over and does the job much better than you could do it by conscious effort or willpower.”- Dr. Maxwell Maltz .
As the healthy, conscious parent that you are, you must monitor your self-talk. It is your self-talk that forms your self-image. “Words Make People.” Remember, your children “Be What They See,” not “Be What You Say.” In order for you to help them with their self-talk, YOU have to reflect what you want for them. I know you want to be emotionally strong as you can, first as an individual and secondly as a parent, so it is critically important to verbalize the descriptions and aspirations about yourself in the affirmative posture. They are taking note.
Dr. Maxwell Maltz, from his award winning book, Psycho-Cybernetics, talked about a woman who thought she had an ugly nose and wanted a nose job. She went to a recommended plastic surgeon and went through the procedure. After the surgery and the swelling, the doctor revealed her new nose to her with great anticipation that she would be ecstatic. She looked at herself in the mirror and sadly said that she didn’t see much difference and that she still looked and felt ugly. Her self-image was one of ugliness, so no matter what happened on the outside, her perception was reflected on what was the inside view of herself. Parents, are you listening? Your children sure are.
You want to pay attention to what your child is saying to themselves and see if their self-talk is complimentary or not complimentary. Their self-talk forms their self-image. If you notice that they are saying “I just can’t do it,” “It doesn’t work for me,” “I will never get it,” “No one wants to play with me,” “I am not good enough,” “I can’t get anything right,” “I will never be smart like those people,” “I am the stupid one in class,” “Every time I attempt to get ahead, I get disappointed,” you have to intervene immediately and change their dialogue. You can see now that self-esteem feeds healthy self-image, right? To create changes at their core self-image level, your children need to start with changing their self-talk. As they do this regularly, a pattern is created and it is then easy and natural. It is easier to teach and model to others when it is second nature to you. So, what is your self-talk pattern? Are you in a habit of saying the best about yourself? You want to be a winner? Then say it - “I am a natural born winner,” as you are looking at yourself in the mirror. The mirror is your stage. It is where you practice your lines, your new looks, your new appreciations. Every day you are feeding your self-image storage bank which either works for you or against you. This is what you model for your children.
Your self-image dwells in your subconscious, not at the conscious level. The conscious level is responsible for collecting information from the environment, storing it in the memory cells and making rational decisions. The subconscious is responsible for autonomic body control, such as breathing, heartbeat, the storage of information, and creative goal seeking. The conscious level cannot do anything without consulting with the subconscious level first. The subconscious level checks its storage bank, which houses the self-image and then replays the self-image information back to the conscious level. This is important as you are helping your children form the best self-image possible.
Here’s a quote from my mentor Dr. Nathaniel Branden on Self-Image. Parents, it is very important that you tune into what self-image is and why it is important for your children to have the best, healthiest, productive self-image they can imagine:
“Self-image or concept includes self-esteem, but it is broader. It concerns my overall perception of my traits, abilities, limitations, shortcomings and strengths. So, self-concept has self-esteem as the evaluative component, but self-concept includes a great deal more-like what is appropriate to me, what I am able to do or not do, what my strengths are and what my limitations are.” -Dr. Branden
If your child has a high self-image of themselves being a great scientist, for example, they are going to be more attentive in their science class. They are going to do well on their tests. They are going to ask intelligent questions which will demonstrate their genuine interests. When they experience some defeat along the way, they will shrug it off and forge on. When they graduate and select a place of employment in which to show their new skills, they walk with confidence and self-assurance. The prospective employer notices this spirit and they are hired. This feedback only raises their confidence level and affirms the self-image that they always envisioned for themselves. You as the supporting parent that you are, must be the cheerleader of this self-image.
Parents, pay close attention: The same principle applies to a person with a low self-image. They never expect much good to come to them and they get exactly that. The Law of Attraction applies right here. They are in the same science class only because their father was a good in science and being in this class will please him. They miss many main points in the class because they were not attentive enough. Your child kind of likes the class, but they don’t see themselves doing well as a scientist or anything else in life. When they get a bad grade, they get reassurance that they don’t measure up with the rest of the class and that, in their mind, they are a loser, which complies with their internal image. They get caught up in the downward spiral of misery and disappointments.
How do your children become successful in school, at acquiring healthy friends, attaining their goals or loving and living life? They must have an internal vision of themselves that reflects their higher self; who they associate with and how life responds to them. There is a way and this is very necessary for your children to know, really accept, and internalize. You are going to tell and show them that High Self-Esteem people are oriented toward challenge and opportunity and Low Self-Esteem people are oriented toward safety and security. You can encourage him or her to think about activities that present challenges and opportunities as they get older. Use some of your own life experiences as examples. This will contribute to them having a high self-image.
“When you see a thing clearly in your mind, your creative ‘success mechanism’ within you takes over and does the job much better than you could do it by conscious effort or willpower.”- Dr. Maxwell Maltz .
As the healthy, conscious parent that you are, you must monitor your self-talk. It is your self-talk that forms your self-image. “Words Make People.” Remember, your children “Be What They See,” not “Be What You Say.” In order for you to help them with their self-talk, YOU have to reflect what you want for them. I know you want to be emotionally strong as you can, first as an individual and secondly as a parent, so it is critically important to verbalize the descriptions and aspirations about yourself in the affirmative posture. They are taking note.
Dr. Maxwell Maltz, from his award winning book, Psycho-Cybernetics, talked about a woman who thought she had an ugly nose and wanted a nose job. She went to a recommended plastic surgeon and went through the procedure. After the surgery and the swelling, the doctor revealed her new nose to her with great anticipation that she would be ecstatic. She looked at herself in the mirror and sadly said that she didn’t see much difference and that she still looked and felt ugly. Her self-image was one of ugliness, so no matter what happened on the outside, her perception was reflected on what was the inside view of herself. Parents, are you listening? Your children sure are.
You want to pay attention to what your child is saying to themselves and see if their self-talk is complimentary or not complimentary. Their self-talk forms their self-image. If you notice that they are saying “I just can’t do it,” “It doesn’t work for me,” “I will never get it,” “No one wants to play with me,” “I am not good enough,” “I can’t get anything right,” “I will never be smart like those people,” “I am the stupid one in class,” “Every time I attempt to get ahead, I get disappointed,” you have to intervene immediately and change their dialogue. You can see now that self-esteem feeds healthy self-image, right? To create changes at their core self-image level, your children need to start with changing their self-talk. As they do this regularly, a pattern is created and it is then easy and natural. It is easier to teach and model to others when it is second nature to you. So, what is your self-talk pattern? Are you in a habit of saying the best about yourself? You want to be a winner? Then say it - “I am a natural born winner,” as you are looking at yourself in the mirror. The mirror is your stage. It is where you practice your lines, your new looks, your new appreciations. Every day you are feeding your self-image storage bank which either works for you or against you. This is what you model for your children.
Your self-image dwells in your subconscious, not at the conscious level. The conscious level is responsible for collecting information from the environment, storing it in the memory cells and making rational decisions. The subconscious is responsible for autonomic body control, such as breathing, heartbeat, the storage of information, and creative goal seeking. The conscious level cannot do anything without consulting with the subconscious level first. The subconscious level checks its storage bank, which houses the self-image and then replays the self-image information back to the conscious level. This is important as you are helping your children form the best self-image possible.
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