SIMPLE SECRETS SUCCESSFUL PARENTS KNOW THAT HELP THEM AVOID THE FRUSTRATION AND FEELINGS OF FAILURE THAT SO MANY PARENTS ARE EXPERIENCING WITH THEIR CHILDREN - PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN, GET YOUR FREE PARENT VIDEO BELOW
When I read stories about Personal Development Masters, and they are discussing the topic of managing emotions, they all agree on using meditation as a daily tool. Progressive Relaxation is another calming tool that is universally used (I’ll describe this one below). In meditation, you are concentrating on one idea or entity as you also give attention to your heartbeat, and your breathing. Meditation is a great way to start your day, to reboot, to clear your mind of yesterday’s issues, to start the new day with a blank slate so you can add joy and fun to today’s to-do list.
There are so many benefits to correct breathing. When you practice deep breathing (Diaphragmatic Breathing Style, for ex.), you are putting more oxygen into your system, which helps you in thinking more clearly, relaxing and letting go of stress, relaxing your heart, thus lowering your blood pressure. When you really get this breathing method under your belt, you can use it in situations where you find yourself stressed. It might be one of those meetings, where the boss is acting like a nonhuman, it might be in school, dealing with peer pressure, in a relationship issue or just internal “stuff” going on. As soon as you know stress is right around corner with your name on it, you can go into action. This is the time to go inward, breathe deep and exhale slowly, keeping a peaceful affirmation in mind such as - “All is well in my world. Everyone around me is celebrating my existence and is supportive in all my endeavors. I am loved.” When you breathe in this manner, you are shifting the focus in your brain.
THE BRAIN - LIMBIC SECTION
When you are stressed and negativity becomes the dominant factor in how you are going to think and act, you are using the limbic part, or the primitive part of the brain. The more specific, responsible part there is called the Amygdala. It is this amygdala that emotionally hijacks the brain and this is where psychotic rage originates. There is no rationality being done in that area. Emotionality rules in this space. Violent reactions and mindless, enraging behavior originates in this part of the brain. This is why it is important, as your children mature, to help them use their reasoning abilities as much as you can. As they are THINKING more instead of REACTING more, their emotional muscles will develop more and they will be operating from the pre-frontal cortex instead of the Amygdala.
NEOCORTEX
When you can breathe deeply, the relaxing that follows brings your thinking to the neocortex part of the brain, where rational thought takes place. Within the neocortex system there is the frontal lobe and within that system, in the front part, is the prefrontal lobes. In the prefrontal lobes, there are the right side and the left side. One of the duties of the left lobe is to act as a neural thermostat, regulating unpleasant emotions. The right prefrontal lobe harbors the negative emotions while the left one keeps them in check.
“The left prefrontal lobe, in short, seems to be a part of a neural circuit that can switch off, or at least dampen down, all but the strongest negative surges of emotion. If the amygdala often acts as an emergency trigger, the left prefrontal lobe appears to be part of the brain’s ‘off’ switch for disturbing emotion: the amygdala proposes, the prefrontal lobe disposes.” - Daniel Goleman, ‘Emotional Intelligence.’
You can help your children tremendously with this information.
BEING CONSCIOUS
Catching yourself before that “blinding rage” takes control is critical, because when that emotion is present, most times you are unable to think, to breathe or do mathematical problems, or anything. You are controlled at that point by your blind emotions and that is when psychotic episodes can happen, when the person assaults, rapes, fights or even kills someone without consciously being aware of his/her actions. This is why you must be consciously aware of your mind-sets, feelings and your body parts. Just think what happens when you share this information with your children. They will THEN know why they acted or act the way that they do or did.
PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE RELAXATION
Progressive Muscle Relaxation originated from the work of Dr. Edmund Jacobson, who published the book Progressive Relaxation in 1938. It is through this process that we can become acutely aware of our various muscles, how they feel when they are in a peaceful, relaxed mode and how they feel when they are in a stress mode. According to his theory, the muscles actually record anxiety-provoking thoughts and events. A build-up of muscle tension then increases the actual feelings of anxiety. So, Dr. Jacobson deduced that the opposite is also true: if the muscles relax, then physiological tension is reduced, and in turn anxiety is decreased. The point here is to help you and your children find ways to relax, reducing tension and empowering your children to think before they act on their triggered emotions. The progressive relaxation technique consists of tensing and relaxing major muscle groups while paying close attention to the sensations in each part of the body. I call this establishing “muscle memory.” You simply tense a particular muscle group for five seconds and then release it. This kind of exercise makes you more connected or in-tune with that particular body part. When you are more sensitized to your various body parts, you will notice more readily when subtle changes occur. When the beginning of stress starts to affect you, you will notice the change and thus be ready for a detouring plan for evading this stress bug. Catching the stress at this beginning stage prevents any escalation and possible damage internally and externally.
Together we can transform your children from being angry, bullying, moody or too quiet to happy, compassionate, loving children. YES, and feel confident that you are using new compassionate parenting skills as opposed to how you were raised.
Parents with young children go NOW to www.cloudsofabundance.com and get your FREE Parent Video “5 Steps to Phenomenal Parenting”
RSS Feed