What comes to your mind when you think about building your children’s self-esteem? Do you know what self-esteem is? Do you think that it means just to make sure your children “feel good” about themselves? Or just to feel good? A bank robber feels good as she gets away with the ‘loot.’ A heroin user feels good after their ‘hit.’ A bully feels good after he abuses his victim. Self-Esteem is you believing in your higher self; you having confidence in your own mind and in your own ability to judge; you experiencing yourself as deserving of happiness; you perceiving yourself as a descent, worthwhile lovable person.
“I cannot think of a single psychological problem, from anxiety and depression to fear of intimacy or of success, to alcohol or drug abuse, to underachievement at school or at work, to spouse battering or child molestation, to a sexual dysfunction or emotional immaturity, to suicide and crimes of violence, that is not traceable to the problem of poor self-esteem.” – Dr. Nathaniel Branden
I studied Dr. Branden’s work and his work influenced me the most to write my book, Reconnected, and do the kind of work I do today.Your success or your failure in life is directly tied to your level of self-esteem. Self-esteem speaks to the intrinsic value of you. It is an assessment of your competence to live, your worthiness, and your happiness. What is your estimate of you? Too often people say they feel good about themselves but they don’t really value themselves adequately. At various times they may have suicide ideations or other negative fantasies about themselves. So we have to go a bit deeper when we are investigating the idea of self-esteem. High self-esteem speaks to the level of integrity you have; real inner confrontations won; reconciling your inner self with your outer self which is the basis of this book. It is also about assessing our real courage and how honesty is attained and internalized. High self-esteem is much more than just feeling good about your self. It is reflected in your personality, your productivity at work and at home with your family, your character, your general way with people, and the spirit that you carry with you always.
Have you ever told your children that it is quite normal, natural and wonderful to feel great, deep inside of them? At their core and in their quiet moments they should have good feelings about themselves, place a high value on their existence and that they have a God given right to be happy. For the healthy, conscious parents it is natural to tell them that they are a great, unique, special creation that God had put on this earth to do perform miracles. God has given them a mission, a talent that belongs to them, exclusively. God has certain Blessings He has created for mankind and He wants to deliver them through His special creation, them.
As you are developing your children in a healthy manner, you are preparing them, unconsciously and maybe consciously, to become the vessel for God’s Blessing to mankind. When they are not developing in a healthy manner, God’s Blessings cannot come through them and hence mankind is deprived. It should be apparent now why it is so important to be healthy. It is also important for them to model for others what health looks and feels like, so others can be motivated to be that way, too. They have to really feel that they deserve health, happiness and the abundance that life has to offer.